1st relationship gone wrong

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3241 posts
Sugar bee

Are you wanting to stay friends with them or something?

Post # 3
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Hon the best advice is to learn from your mistakes and move on.  If you’re still in college I’d advise you to check out the counseling they may have there if only to delve into your reasons and actions while engaged in such a dysfunctional love triangle and not getting yourself out of it sooner. 

Its best to know what is acceptable to you and what isn’t B4 getting into another relationship but I get that’s pretty hard to do at your age.  Most of all be kind to yourself and learn to love who you are.

Post # 4
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee

Move on and put their shit behind you. Their relationship was not okay. Moving forward, you need to bail when you see any of these red flags. 

Post # 5
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

You need to take some time and self reflect and self examine and determine what your boundaries are. What are you and what are you not willing to put up with? Respect yourself and establish these boundaries at the beginning of every relationship, and leave at the FIRST sign that you’re not being treated like you DESERVE. You allowed that mess and blatant disrespect to go on. Don’t allow it. If they respect you they’ll stop, and if they don’t, you leave.

 

Best wishes bee, dating can be tricky

Post # 6
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I know counseling can seem daunting or scary, but it sounds like it would be beneficial at this time. The reason I say this is because you let this man treat you like this for months before standing up for yourself. You say love blinded you. But how did you feel love towards someone you hadn’t known that long, especially if he never had time for you?

Yes, you made a mistake, and your ex and his “friend” are vindictive enough to taunt you with it. You need to delete and block them on all social media, your email, and your phone. You need to avoid them at all costs. This will take away the power they still hold over your life. Then you need to move on, having learned from your mistakes. You deserve someone to love you, to put you first, and to be kind to you. Don’t settle for jerks like this in the future, and perhaps go slower in your next relationship.

Post # 7
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

jxka :  This sounds like the worlds crappiest relationship. Cut your losses and move on. They don’t need to see your side because they aren’t worth the time it takes to explain. 

Post # 8
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

It’s so hard to not self reflect in situations like this. They’re posting online about you, and you sent those e-mails you regret. The thing is, they don’t give a shit about your feelings. Neither of them ever did. It was insanely evident.

It’s going to take time to stop judging yourself for all of this. But seriously, this will all be a random story some day. The sooner you block them and cut them out of your life, the sooner you’ll be able to move on. There are awesome people out there. You don’t need to waste your time with the terrible ones just because it’s what you used to do.

Post # 9
Hostess
3933 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

jxka :  I had a best guy friend in college and I can assure you we did not act like this.  It sounds like his friend is interested in him and he either is into her or likes the attention so much he refuses to set appropriate boundaries.  Yes, sending fake emails was a mistake, but you recognize that and that’s a good sign.  I would focus on moving forward from him (and these other people who are shading you on facebook – how immature) and focus on doing things for yourself.  Definitely block these people so you don’t have to see the crap they’re posting.

Post # 10
Member
379 posts
Helper bee

This sounds really bad OP. I would move on ASAP. 

Post # 11
Member
4820 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

jxka :  You learned a lesson here – in a healthy relationship, each partner prioritizes the other, and their feelings.   He didn’t do that for you – he did it for someone else, and right in front of you.   You deserve FAR better, and please don’t settle for being a side dish ever again!!  Onward and upward!!!

Post # 12
Member
19 posts
Newbee

They sound like cliquey 12 year olds and you’d be the girl on the very fringe of the friend group that they keep around more to torture for entertainment than anything else. So, congrats to them, they have the emotional maturity of bitchy tweens. Your anonymous emails weren’t your finest hour, but who cares? She WAS being a bitch. And to be honest, your relationship was fucked from the get-go because you accidentally got into a relationship with a prepubescent girl masquerading in a college student’s body. 

Trust me, in a couple of years you’re going to look back at this situation and be embarrassed FOR them because that’s how immature and cringey their behavior is. Chances are they got off more on the drama of sneaking around and making you jealous and the whole “zomggg we’re just friends why does everyone think we’re a thing?!?” act than they actually enjoying each other’s company.

I’m sorry they treated you this way and I’m genuinely sorry that you allowed them to do so for so long before reaching a breaking point. You sound like a nice girl who had a bad first relationship. They aren’t all like that, I promise.  

Post # 13
Member
681 posts
Busy bee

Let them have each other. They sound creepy, especially her tucking him into bed and singing to him. Blechhh!

You aren’t crazy; anyone in your situation would not be comfortable with their “friendship.”

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