(Closed) 1st time home buyer: Am I expecting too much?

posted 7 years ago in Home
Post # 32
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

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@rebwana:  thank-you! taking the cabinets down made a huge difference! We could have used the space, but it was worth the sacrifice!

Post # 33
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Have you ever watched Holmes on Homes? If not, I’d advise you do so before you buy a house, especially if you’re looking at only cosmetic stuff. = There’s more to a house than its cabinets and countertops. 

Post # 34
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Sorry, but it does sound like you’re being too picky.

You can’t go into looking for your first house with a huge list of must haves, if you do, you’ll just be disappointed when you can’t find a place that has it all. You need to narrow down your list to a few extremely important things.

For us, that was it had to be a modern build in a good area with bus access. We had preferences, e.g. two or three bedrooms, close to a decent school, but they were far from dealbreakers. We ended up buying a two bedroom place right next to a school.

You can’t expect to be able to move in to a house and it be perfect. Our house was four years old when we moved in, and the carpet is ruined, the bath is broken, every room needs painting – even a house that seems perfect will always need some work doing to it!

Besides, this is your first home. I totally understand that you want it to be perfect, but that’s just not realistic. Decide what your absolute must haves are and look for them. You might be surprised by what you fall in love with!

Post # 35
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think that you might be being too picky as others have said.  The first house seems to just have cosmetic problems and some can be fixed pretty easily (like the walls and floors).  You also would probably be able to get away with just two bedrooms when the first child is a toddler and the second is a baby and maybe even longer if they are both the same gender so a 3 bedroom might not be a necessity.

And as others have said, you need to deal with this debt.  Even if it falls off your credit report, they might still come after you and then you ay have to pay legal fees in addition to the debt if your husband did cosign for it in his name.

Post # 36
3080 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@brunetteinlove:  we are first time home buyers and I absolutely hated the home buying process. We were looking since April 2013 and a few weeks ago we finally went under contract on a home. 

Speaking froM Experience, we were not willing to negotiate on the location. We could change cosmetic things, but not the actual location of the house. Plus, after going through this home buying process, I never, ever want to buy a house again. It’s terrible. Or at least here it was because in the area that we were looking in there was a shortage of houses. so that made it even worse. 

If you can wait, I would. I found the whole process to be stressful and I feel like it would have been even worse if we had to sell a house along with it too. 

Post # 38
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@brunetteinlove:  Is it bad to say that I think paying off the 3k debt will actually more help you, you can most likely move into the nicer area that’s 30k more (I assume) by paying 3k, it’s worth clearing.

Post # 39
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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@rebwana:  +1 I am also a Realtor, and agree with every piece of advice here. I will however go against the grain here, and highly suggest you speak with your lender and a credit specialist to simulate how handling the outstanding $3K will affect his credit score. I have seen MULTIPLE instances in which people pay off old debts hoping it will help them – and it ends up hurting them instead.

If it’s a situation where it will just fall off his report next year, vs. paying it now and it falling off as a paid in full formerly delinquent debt in a few more years it is likely of no real advantage to you to tackle it now just out of principal. Definitely seek appropriate legal/financial counsel to figure out how to manage that and repair his credit!

ETA: Shame on his parents, he may even be able to dispute the debt to get it removed if it occurred without his consent – but this could be extremely time consuming (if it is effective at all) and could even require a police report, etc. to make it happen.


Post # 42
3728 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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@brunetteinlove:  Sorry– I totally read your comment wrong. That wouldn’t be the best impression of the neighborhood, but it still could be a really good school. I am always shocked to see how kids in top schools behave on the streets and how good kids can behave in really bad, unsafe schools.

I think regardless of wherever you choose to live, you should check out the schools and districts ahead of time. Here is a good link to find out what schools are in the area, and then you can go to the district’s website to download the school report card: http://nces.ed.gov/globallocator/

Here is a link to check out crime: http://spotcrime.com/

Both of these were vital in our search.

Best of luck!


Post # 44
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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@brunetteinlove:  Lol! You’re welcome! I remember how scary it was when Fiance and I started looking. I think it will be a little less scary once you’ve toured a few places in person because you’ll really get a good sense of what you want in a place. We had looked at single family homes online and we really wanted to go with that option because of the privacy and the ability to really make it our own. . . but we went with a condo instead because the property taxes were lower and we got more of what we were hoping for.

Our Association only does the basics: garbage removal, landscaping, snow removal, and outer maintenance on the units. That means our HOA fees are only about $170 a month, while the Association around the corner is about twice that amount because they have a pool, playground, and basketball courts. If you guys do decide a condo is a good option for you then maybe it would be a good idea to look at a bunch of different complexes to get a feel for the type of amenities you’d both like.

Also, thank you for the clarification about your bus stop comments. I wasn’t entirely sure what you meant by that, but I can understand why that would be disheartening to see. Keep in mind that school district rankings can fluctuate over the years and you may start off in a less than ideal neighborhood that turns into a very in-demand area of town. You guys seem to have good priorities in valuing safety more than anything though.

(And as for the granite counters, I threw that out just as an example since you mentioned HGTV – pretty much everyone that appears on any of those shows wants granite countertops. Lol!)

Post # 45
3212 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

The funny thing about stone countertops (or marble floors) is you have to be super careful about  what spills on them – some stones will react to simple things like vinegar and lemon juice! Mainly it’s marble – but that is still worth knowing about.


OP, I’m sorry you cant have your dream home right away. πŸ™ but on the bright side, I would definitely still keep looking Because you never know what might come up! 

Dont forget to earmark money for legal costs and closing fees. And talk to a debt expert! It is worth bringing it up with his parents because even though it was so long ago it is still materially affecting you, and if you end up resenting your “cheap” house, every little thing is going to bother you.

Post # 45
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Okay I know this is old butttt in hopes of getting a reply I am curious as to what you did?!

I am currently looking at homes 3 bedroom 2 bath at least 1200 sq ft but can’t find anything. The market is so low right now my options are very limited. I am actually not opposed to remodeling stuff as I know I definitely won’t find a home in my budget that has all the up to date stuff I want anyways. Would love to hear back as to what happened!

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