Post # 1
Member
12 posts
Newbee
My fiance is recently catholic, I’m not. We’ve agreed to have 2 ceremonies so that we are both happy and nobody is disappointed. I wanted to have the Catholic one at our convenience, not on the day that we are planning on my ceremony and reception. I am ONLY wanting to do this because he is recently Catholic, like within the last 6 months or so, well into our engagment. (We’ve been together 7 years, engaged for 2.) He tells me today, 6 months before the wedding that he doesn’t want to do it that way. He wants to go to his ceremony, then to mine, then to the reception, all on the same day. I feel that that would be too much, but am willing to do it, instead of argue about it. Buuuut, I want a 2nd dress. Is this too much to ask for? I don’t plan on spending a lot of money on it, but I don’t want to wear the same one to both ceremonies!
Post # 3
Member
3622 posts
Sugar bee
I think your idea of doing the ceremonies makes more sense than doing them back to back, and your Fiance should appreciate that you will do a Catholic ceremony at all. You are being more than generous enough to even consider doing two ceremonies, and maybe you can remind him of that.
Post # 4
Member
7308 posts
Busy Beekeeper
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Have you actually spoke with church officials about this? You may have some technical difficulties to work out wthat will dictate how things flow. You may have a hard time finding a church that is willing to perform the ceremony, as you are not Catholic. And you will likely have to agree, in your ceremony, to raise your (future) children in the Catholic church. Are you okay with that? And I would venture to say that the church would not be a fan of doing a second ceremony for you, as it would not be the legal ceremony and may be perceived as being “fake”. The non-religious ceremony would have a lot more freedom, so you really need to accomodate the religious ceremony first, and figure out the non-religious one second.
Post # 5
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
wow 2 ceremonies in one day? well heck you better get your 2nd dress out of it! honestly as a guest, i would be like what the heck! some of my family i could see only going to the 2nd one. but hey! do whatever suits the two of you!
Post # 6
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
Aren’t Catholic ceremonies like over an hour long and super strict about who they marry and at what times they marry? Like I know that Saturday ceremonies for Catholics have to be pretty early or they’re done on Fridays. Sounds exhausting to do all in one day.
Why did he convert recently may I ask? I hope that’s not too intrusive. It’s just not often I hear of people converting to Catholicism
Post # 7
Member
12 posts
Newbee
My ceremony will also be a religious one, just not Catholic. I don’t want it to sound like I’m compromising anything just to accomodate him. My frustration is with the fact that he hasn’t been Catholic his whole life. He’s recently converted because the rest of his family has as well. In the 7 years he’s been together, he’s been to church about a handful of times. We have not talked together with church officials. I’ve fairly recently started going back to church, but I’ve not converted religions. The Catholic Church that would be performing his part of the ceremony is pretty lenient. We just attended a wedding there in October and it wasn’t very lengthy. My ceremony will be held outside, walking distance from our reception. We would have to start out at his church, go to my location then go to the reception. We have a total of 18 in the bridal party. I’m afraid that we’ll have more in the bridal party than we have attending one of the ceremonies. I’m willing to go along with it, but I want my second dress! I know it sounds selfish and childish, but it’s something that is only going to happen once, and I want to make it memorable!
Post # 8
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
Oh my gosh I’m having the same thoughts! My FH is Hindu and I’m Catholic. We’re planning to have a Hindu ceremony at 1pm then Catholic ceremony at 4pm then reception at 7pm all at the same venue on the same day. I’m also thinking the day is going to be super long and a lot of people will not come the whole day since it’s so long. But when it comes down to it, I know our closest friends and family will be there so it wall all turn out ok.
Also I will be changing 3 times! I have a Hindu ceremony outfit, traditional white wedding gown, and changin mid reception into a Hindu reception dress! It’s going to be so fun I wouldn’t worry about it!
Post # 9
Member
12 posts
Newbee
I know that my close family and friends will attend both. Others will probably just attend whichever side their related/closer to. I’m a little disappointed with that, but completely understand. I wouldn’t want to attend 2 ceremonies in the same day for the same couple either! But, I’m hoping to entice them with a dress change 🙂
Post # 10
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
May I ask a question, have you and your fiance thought about one ceremony, an interfaith ceremony? These can be tricky at times to set up. However, if you had one ceremony then you would both be having the same ceremony. So you would be uniting in marriage in “eyes” of your church, equally together.
Post # 11
Member
12 posts
Newbee
The only problem with having an interfaith ceremony is that I want to have my ceremony outside. He is not allowed to do that in the Catholic church.
I got my second dress!