Post # 1
ok! my mom remarried when I was 2 and thats my dad, the only one I have ever known my whole life…up until about 2 years ago…my biological father came back in my life..(long story) Anyway, we talk on the phone and he is really trying and he visits when he can since he lives about 5 hours away! He also gave me some money to help with the wedding. So, anyway…..I don’t want to disclude him But kinda feel like since he wasn’t around he doesn’t deserve to have the “father” role at the wedding. It will be akward for him to be there with the whole family given the circumstance, but I do want him to come and kinda feel he should be happy that he at least gets to do that (sorry to sound rude, don’t mean it that way)
My dad that raised me will be walking me down and doing the father/daughter dance with me. I guess I’m just looking for advice from others and opinions…cause I’m starting to feel a little bad for him…like picturing him thinking that it shold be him walking me down, etc. and him being sad about seeing me doing all this with my dad that raised me…..help or opinions would really be great. Just need different perspectives….Thanks Bees:-)
Post # 3
what about 2 songs? 2 dances? maybe you can use one of his songs and do a dance with him. or i saw a weddding recently with similar circumstances, where the bio father walked the bride about 1/3 down the aisle, and then the “step” (real) dad took her from there and gave her off to her husband… (it was not a 1/2 and 1/2 iknow that, it may have been 1/4 and 3/4)
Post # 4
I thought of that but then I feel kinda bad for the dad that raised me kinda taking that away from him.and forcing him to share the moment with a guy that wasn’t there…blah,blah…and he did his job……By The Way I’m 31 so he pretty much raised and me then some…lol:P
Post # 5
I think it is great that he is at least trying to be a part of your life now. I have a similar situation. My dad was there but he never made himself a part of my life. It was hard for him to try and become a part of my life after so long. he was almost embarrassed, and disappointed in himself that he didn’t realize what he had been doing sooner.
I understand where you are coming from. i always wanted to have my grandfather walk me down the aisle. But I feel that he’s put such an effort into being the dad he was supposed to be that he does deserve some recognition for that. So he will be walking me down the aisle.
i think your step dad should by all means walk you down the aisle, he’s been in your life for so long, and you are probably much closer. He does deserve to be the one to give you away.
Here’s an option, what If you began the father daughter dance with your step Dad and then had your biological father step in later in the song. So your step dad will still be a part of this special time and i think that’s a great way to show your biological father that you accept him trying to be a better man, and you appreciate that he’s at least trying now. You can never make up for lost time but you can always create new memories. Personally I think it would be a great new memory for both of you.