Post # 1
I have done a TON of research on ettiquette regarding having two maids of honor, and the general consensus I’ve gotten is that there’s nothing wrong with it, as long as it’s done right. Basically, make them both feel special and divide up the responsibilities.
BUT, what I haven’t found any answers to is…how do I ask my MOHs to be my MOHs. Do I take them both out for drinks and ask them together? Do I ask them separately but let them know that there will be two? One is an old old friend who I’ve known for years that I wanted her to be a Maid/Matron of Honor, and the other is my best friend from college who is just simply amazing. I definitely don’t want to hurt any feelings, but at the same time it’s MY wedding and I can’t choose one over the other.
Post # 2
merrbear19 : Do they know each other?
Post # 3
withluv : They’ve met a couple times but aren’t too well accquainted
Post # 4
merrbear19 : It’s certainly your wedding and therefore your choice, but it’s still a recipe for drama and disaster. Weddings have enough drama as it is, don’t bring it upon yourself. Have 1 Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 5
merrbear19 : I would take them both out together and ask them
Post # 6
Just have all bridesmaids?
Post # 7
Just have bridesmaids and no Maid/Matron of Honor. A friend of mine asked two friends to be bridesmaids but failed to mention to one of them she was second Maid/Matron of Honor, she found out through passing and it was just awkward and weird. Maybe if you handled it better and asked them both together so he’s clear from the start there will be two that would be better, but in my opinion being one of two bridesmaids is just as special as being one of two MOH’s
Post # 8
I was one of two MOHs in my best friends wedding. She had a pretty big bridal party so 2 of us taking up the job didn’t look or feel weird/uneven.
We are a trio, however, and the three of us have been best friends for about 15 years. She obviously didn’t want to choose between us which worked perfectly fine! No drama, it was great to get to plan everything for my bff with my other bff. She asked us together, too.
I would suggest taking them out together to ask, since they are acquaintances. This will also give them more of a chance to bond. Just be open about the fact they they both mean a lot to you and you would love it if they could share the position. If they care for you, they shouldn’t mind. Further, only you really know them on a personal level, so only you can gauge if they’d be ok with this kind of arrangement and take it from there.
Post # 9
Here there are usually 2 Maid/Matron of Honor and no bridesmaids. I don’t see how that causes more drama unless the people involved are dramatic.But then again I don’t see why bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor has to be separated by a title. But please note that I’m not an american so my views are different on the subjects.
Post # 10
If you are SURE you want both girls to be Maid/Matron of Honor, ask them together! It’ll be less awkward that way 🙂
I was going to have 2 MOHs but I was asking them separately. After I asked the first one I decided to have the second girl just be a bridesmaid. I chickened out of explaining to my first Maid/Matron of Honor that there would be a second and in that moment I realized that the first girl I asked really should be my only Maid/Matron of Honor. Overall I’m happy with my decision.
Also, having 2 MOHs is really common, and not all bridal parties are full of drama!
Post # 11
merrbear19 : as others have suggested, if you have your heart set on 2 then I would ask them together this where there is no ambiguity. I hope they can work together as a team to help your special day be great!