(Closed) 2 months away do I change the plans?

posted 10 years ago in Venue
Post # 4
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I would change it. Knowing myself, I would worry and freak out about this all the time because it would be at the back of my head or just lingering above me. I wouldn’t want people to have second thoughts about coming and having to worry about anything other than not being late for their flight. 🙂

You will be stressed out with other details as it is. Don’t let this add to your plate. It’s a heavy one to lift.

Post # 5
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

You might want to at least start looking into a Plan B.  If it were me, I don’t think I would be able to relax on the wedding day if I were concerned about another grenade attack.  I would prefer to bring Mexico to my guests in the US rather than take my guests to Mexico.  You can still share the culture without the venue.  I’m not sure why the dress couldn’t come to you as well.  That doesn’t sound like it needs to change. No matter you choose, good luck!

Post # 6
170 posts
Blushing bee

I think asking your family to compromise their feelings of safety would be really unfair.  As a note you may "feel" safe, but when anyone from my company travels to Mexico with work there are very strict security requirements such as not going beyond office/hotel and always having an (armed) driver.  So objectively it is not considered a safe place to travel to.

Post # 7
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I think you should at least look into a Plan B. Even though you may feel safe, if your family doesn’t feel safe many may not come and others who do come may feel uncomfortable. There’s only so much you can do to assuage their fears, especially since the U.S. govt has a travel alert posted for Mexico (a travel alert is less serious than a travel warning, which is for persistently dangerous places like Iran and the Congo). That you can get out of your plans with minimal financial loss should encourage you even more to investigate alternatives.

It boils down to, what makes a wedding a dream wedding? Is it the venue or the location or the dress (and if you change your venue why would you have to give up your dress?)? Or is it the people you love coming to see you get married?

Post # 8
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If I were you, I would talk to my fiance and his family and see how they feel. If they are not too concerned, I wouldn’t be either. They will know if the area is safe or not, and I’m sure would not want to put themselves in danger either. I don’t usually worry about these things, though, so I may not be a good example.

Post # 9
33 posts
  • Wedding: June 2009

The "unprecedented levels of violence in recent months" line makes me pretty wary.  The place sounds absolutely beautiful, but just not the right atmosphere for now.  Definitely look into another place, and maybe schedule a vow renewal a few years down the road in Morelia?

Post # 10
49 posts

gut feelings are never wrong.

Post # 11
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah, I’d change it. I hate to tell you to do that – I’m sure the spot is gorgeous, but parts of Mexico are just really dangerous right now. At this point, I’d be afraid that you’d exit the gorgeous cathedral, step into the courtyard and think, "OH yeah, this is where the grenade went off." That’s not really a good thought to cross your mind on your wedding day. Definitely weigh in with your Fiance and his family, but I agree with pp that asking your family to put their safety at risk is an awkward and slightly unfair thing to do, even though it’s for good reason.

Hang in there — all this violence in Mexico is such a sad thing. Such a beautiful country. 

Post # 12
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Um, yeah.  You may feel safe, but as an accident analyst I can tell you that feelings of safety (or perception of risk in general) are usually more a factor of familiarity (or unfamiliarity) than a rational decision based on factual data.  If your family and friends have a perception that they could be in danger, your "feeling" of safety is never going to convince them otherwise.  And from a factual standpoint, there is a State Department Travel Advisory on Mexico at the moment:


They don’t issue those lightly or without reason.  I would strongly consider changing your location.  Making your guests choose between supporting you and feeling like they are taking their lives in their hands is unfair, regardless of your feelings on the matter.

Post # 13
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 10 years ago

Are your guests white? I know I might sound extreme but with the political turmoil and the direct attack on people…I wouldn’t risk kidnappings. Seriously, if there’s a war between drug lords and the goverment they might be tempted to keep tourists as insurance.

As beautiful as the city might be…I wouldn’t risk it…If I was an informed guest…I would decline for my safety and the safety of my family. Just in case. 

Post # 14
67 posts
Worker bee

I think you should change it. Between kidnappings, the ongoing drug war, the travel advisory and the political turmoil– plus the fact that you would be in a very public area, as opposed to a secluded resort– it just does not sound like a good idea right now. I hate to think of it this way, but a big American wedding could easily become a target for someone who wanted to "make a statement." 

I like the suggestion of planning a vow renewal for a few years down the road.

Post # 15
88 posts
Worker bee

Man, what a tough situation!

I think you should go with your gut feeling, but as a resident of Mexico I would like to just put in my $.02 about who is really "objectively" at risk here. The violence that happened this Independence Day was the first time people outside the drug world have really been targeted. People are rightfully freaked out about that. Who knows if it’s the beginning of a trend. Or maybe it will not happen again.

As a rule, Americans are among the people LEAST at risk for drug-related violence, kidnapping and what-have-you. Terrorism in Mexico is NOT like terrorism in the Middle East… it tends to be not random (with the exception of what I mentioned above) and foreigners are MUCH less likely to be kidnapped or attacked than Mexicans. Attacking Americans just gets people like the FBI involved, and no druglord wants that, trust me. 

I just wanted to say that to set straight some misconceptions. I personally choose to live here, I love it, I plan to stay and obviously I fully accept the risks that come along with it. For me, it is more than worth it. However, I recognize that many Americans will be too scared to come (although I personally may consider it an overreaction) so if you want to go ahead with your wedding, you will have to accept their decisions. 

Saludos, Kitty 

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