(Closed) 2 months away… the letdown begins?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I think that’s totally normal.  I had a lot of plans and ambitions, and while some things got done, probably at about six weeks before (for me) was when it sank in that a number of things were just not really going to go the way I had wanted them to.  Or I guess I should say, about six weeks out was when I sort of finally accepted that, and stopped trying to make things go differently.  It was pretty depressing at first, but Darling Husband was really good about helping me to see that in fact everything was going to work out okay, or good enough – even if not ideally or as planned. 

That’s kind of how life is, right?  Our life, anyway.  I’m not perfect, he’s not perfect, our house and our kids and our jobs and our families are not perfect, and there are always things that we just don’t get done.  But it’s generally all pretty good anyway – we are lots better off than many other people.  And we have each other.  Still, if I had to go back and do everything again…  that’s part of the issue, I think.  Normally you do something, you learn a little, and the next time you do it, everything goes better because you’re a little smarter, a little more organized, etc.  You get to do this once, and it goes how it goes, and there aren’t any do-overs.  The good thing is that you Fiance loves you just the way you actually are – not a supermodel, not an event planner, perhaps not perfect in any way.  And that’s pretty cool, really.  Probably moreso than losing 10 lbs and having fantastic upper arms or abs, really.

Post # 4
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I definitely started to feel this about two months before my wedding and posted something about the prewedding disappointement too! Everything just seemed so blah…

But after a few weeks of just taking time away from the wedding and talking to my family and friends (someone sent me a very nice private message from weddingbee too(bonniebell?)) I was back to getting excited for the wedding – about the family and friends coming into town, eating the yummy food, and enjoying a day with everyone special in our lives. And that got me through the last minute details of making the programs, table numbers, escort cards, etc. Working on my vows also brought me out of my “funk” and I became so excited to share my vows with my husband (we kept them secret until the wedding day)…if you aren’t writing your own vows, maybe writing a letter to your Fiance that he’ll open on the wedding day will help 🙂

So I guess my advice to you is to hang in there because I went through the same feelings and it passed and my wedding was wonderful…not perfect, but so amazing that it was all my husband and I could talk about when we left the reception! I loved everything…and all the little details that I gave up caring about turned out beautifully somehow.

You will get through this and have a lovely wedding…hang in there!

Post # 5
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

I’ve got it too….it’s starting to go away now that the wedding is one month from today and I have lots of work to do.  Mostly, I was really hoping my mom would be more excited for me and that we’d get closer, but that didn’t happen.  But I think feeling this way is probably normal.  However, my fiance said to me the other night, "This is really happening, and it’s going so fast, and I just want to enjoy every moment before they pass us by." and it was a wake up call to enjoy it more.  

Post # 6
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

I’m starting to feel it too, I’m getting bummed that I won’t have anything to look forward to after… Hopefully we’ll be able to buy a house within a year of the wedding and that will keep me occupied

Post # 7
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t want to sound superficial, but stupid things bum me out too.  I am not losing weight.  I get bummed that most of my friends don’t ask to see my dress….and I feel really guilty when I care that no one has bought us a wedding present yet…I mean, I am not usually a materialistic person, but I have the nesting bug BAD, especially bc I moved into FH’s house last week.  I’m just antsy to buy curtains instead of seeing if someone buys them…and I’m like…who is this person, LOL

 Try to take a couple of days to reconnect w/ your FH, and hopefully that will energize you about the marriage you are about to begin with your wedding.

Post # 8
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think maybe it is  just a natural way of preparing yourself for the worst…sort of in the same way that high schoolers prepare for the idea that they may not get accepted into their top choice college. If you don’t get excited for it, then you can’t be upset when it doesn’t happen how you had hoped. So maybe you are feeling let down so that when the day does come, you can’t possibly be disappointed by anything.

I bet that on the actual big day, things will seem wonderful though! Just remember that you’ll be there GETTING MARRIED to your true love! What could possibly feel more magical than that? 😉

Post # 9
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I haven’t hit the two month mark yet but I can imagine feeling that way. When I was younger I definitely built up my wedding to be something earth-shattering. But now that I’m actually planning and, more importantly, PAYING for it it’s nowhere near as "magical" as I imagined. Though the normalcy almost makes the whole thing it seem more real in a way.

Post # 10
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

I feel that way now. One reason I know of is because the closer my wedding day gets it means the closer his 2nd deployment is since he is leaving about 3 weeks after we are married and than I won;t see him for 7 months.  He’ll be getting back 4 months before our 1 year aniversary and we will not have even been living together yet HA. but my wedding day blues are here too. I’m excited, but sad all at the same time.

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