(Closed) 2 months before wedding the Priest changes his mind

posted 6 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That sucks, but I think your better off without that priest. I am getting married in a catholic church and my SO is agnostic ( which he told the priest) and he knows that we live together and he didnt even flintch….So I dont know what the big deal is for your priest…are there any other churchs near by? or can you have it at your reception venue?

Post # 5
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow, I would be so upset, it’s not like he just found out that you’re living together.  Not going to go on a rant against Catholicism but ugh I’m sorry.  Were you getting married at the priest’s church? ie, do you have to find a new officiant or a whole new venue?

Post # 7
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Gahhhhh yeah your frustration is 100% understandable.  They’ll refund the check tho, no? Or is it a non-refundable deposit?  I say get looking for nice places in the area… I wouldn’t want to stay at the church given the situation either.

ps… he needs time to pray on it? months later? bs.

Post # 9
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sounds good. Update tomorrow!

Post # 10
Member
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I’m pretty sure they can’t refuse to marry you based on co-habitation… I think that’s the official line of the Catholic church. Anyway, how stupid… they imply you are “living in sin”. What’s the best way to stop that? To get married. And then they won’t marry you BECAUSE you are “living in sin”? WTF???

Feeling your pain! Good luck! To be honest, I would be tempted to find someone else no matter what this priest decides. He sounds far too unreliable to be trusted with something like your wedding day, because he changes his mind all the time. I think you need a backup plan!

Post # 11
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wow! I’m sorry chic! Not all priests are so close minded. Did you guysSho through all the req’s? Me and Fiance have to go to a retreat and meet with the priest every so often. We had to take a compatibility test and discuss our scores with him…I couldn’t imagine our priest doing all that with us then pulling out! (we weren’t living together when we got engaged and started seeing him but we are now cause Fiance hadn’t found a job in the time we thought he would). 

Post # 14
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee

That’s awful! Our priest has been so chilled about the whole living together thing, I’m so sorry he has done this to you. If he didn’t feel comfortable with it he should have spoken up in the first place! I would recommend going above his head, to the diocese, and taking the issue up with them. Our first priest was really awful to us and we went to our diocese office and they got us an amazing priest who is just so happy to be involved in our wedding.

Good luck! I’m sure God will look after you 🙂

Post # 15
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Call the rectory and talk to the secretary. Be calm. Explain the situation, that you need to send out invitations, and if she could help you find another priest. She’ll be able to help and will most likely tell the priest off. If not, ask if you can still use the church. Then call the residences at the diocese’ s cathedral and see if a retired priest can help out. Where is your wedding? Maybe I can help.

Post # 16
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Could you just find another priest and use the same church? Is he okay with that? My Catholic priest knew we were living together (also far from family) and still married us.

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