- 6 years ago
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years, 2 of which have been long distance. We lived together for 1 year before he moved, and after 6 months I temporarily moved to where he was for 6 months before returning home to continue my education. He’s in the military so even though I was there, he was gone half (or more) of the time so it still felt like a LDR. We are now 2 months away from the long distance aspect of our relationship being over. We found a house, he purchased it, and I am now in the process of moving myself in, painting, and making repairs as needed. However, I find myself hesitant to move in completely, or put too much effort into the house because I don’t know if I want to continue our relationship. I don’t understand this in the least. I have put so much effort into this relationship, have been through so much to keep it going, and now I’m seriously contemplating calling it quits…2 months from the “hard” part being over?! Is this a normal reaction to change? Has anyone else experienced this when the distance was finally taken out of the equation?
A little background if you care to know:
When he initally moved I expected that to be the end of us. I took the trip up with him and we made a vacation out of it and during that time something changed. Just recently, when he flew in to close on the house, I again fully intended on ending things with him and not moving in or having anything at all to do with the house, but he talked me out of it, reasonablly stating that we only have 2 months left and then everything will go back to normal and be good again. At the time it made sense so I went along with everything, but once he left I realized I wanted to break up with him back when things were, what he referred to as, “normal and good.” I just feel so confused and I don’t know what to do. I almost feel like I am using him (for the nice big house, the wonderful vacations, etc.) and I don’t know how to mentally seperate those things from my feelings towards him so I can figure things out. Should I just wait for him to come home and see how things are then, meanwhile investing time and energy into fixing up this home to my liking, only further complicating things?
I also must say he is not a bad guy, at all. I’ve never really gotten butterflies from him, or felt like we had that “spark” but we get along well and he is the most stable person I’ve ever had in my life. He is 100% any and all PDA, as well as compliments and verbal statements of affection. There have also been, over time, some issues that have been so hurtful I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get past them. These are my reasons for wanting to end things.