- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
So I think I’ve broken a cardinal rule – don’t upset your FMIL- and I’m sure I did. She asked to see my guestlist( i probably shouldn’t have shared it; so shame on me) and she started going through it and telling me basically everybody on her side that won’t come….which pretty much was everyone but 4 people out of 35. Then she proceeded to have this great idea of a reception here for those in her family that don’t attend the wedding in Maryland. She had all these ideas and great plans. I told her it all sounds nice and that maybe she should be incharge of this if it’s that important to her. She immediately said no and told me all these things I could do. So I told her the thought is nice, but there’s no guarantee that people from both sides will show for the wedding, and that I’m not rushing to do another reception in Md for my side who doesn’t show. It’s one wedding and right now that’s where our money is going. I mentioned it to my fiance’ and he doesn’t even feel it’s necessary. If they can’t make the wedding, they probably can’t make a separate reception. Plus its not fair for my side of the family either. So I told her that right now the focus isn’t there, it’s at the wedding and that’s the most important thing right now. If someone wants to celebrate us they can on their own. I was very nice about it but she’s not quite getting it.
Plus when I invited her(well in advance) to our engagement party that’s being thrown here in IL by our friends she said “no, we don’t do that. it’s unnecessary to celebrate such things and must be an eastcoast thing.” I have this feeling that she think’s I’m a snob. Plus she has this thing about the wedding now being Formal Attire; Black Tie Preferred….she basically put me down and said “well my family isn’t that fancy and they won’t travel for some fancy wedding”. Some wedding..!!!! SOME WEDDING!!!! This is your son’s wedding! Are you kidding me!?
So anyway, I’m not sure how to handle her….she’s always been out of the picture and continues to be. I try to include her but I feel like she thinks I’m Miss Prissy for wanting one day to really be special and elegant.
FYI: this is not a destination wedding. We’re getting married in my homestate and close to where my fiance’ and I met for the first time. We currently live in Illinois.