Post # 1
Just want to clarify this is not by my choice =)
Fiance and I both want a small wedding, we are not comfortable saying our vows in front of people we barley know or not that close to.
We also knew having the wedding in his hometown we would run into some issues with his mom feeling guility about not inviting someone. His mom completely understands our want for a small wedding but she has asked us to do a 2nd reception after our main reception (which will be at a local cafe).
She would like to do it at their house and invite friends, neighbors and other distant relatives over for a get together.
I suggested just doing one reception verses two. But Fiance wants us to keep to our original plan. Our wedding/ reception will be during the day, his mom’s reception will be at night.
I feel awkward but I feel it’s the best way and compromise to keep the guest list small as we want but still feel like his mom can celebrate with her friends.
So my question is how should I handle the invite for this 2nd reception, just let her invite them or offer to do it? Also, she stated everyone is welcome to come, meaning those who will attend the wedding, she wants them to come to the 2nd reception. Do I put that on their original invitation or just tell them in person.
Post # 3
If she’s hosting this second reception, I think she should be responsible for sending separate invites to all who are invited (including those people you are inviting to the wedding/first reception). I wouldn’t mention anything in your invitations.
Post # 4
I think that would be fun, it’s like a bigger after party for you. I would also let her do the invites, unless for some reason you wanted to you could offer. I would have her send a seperate invite for the other party, or just tell them by word of mouth.
Post # 5
If Mom is hosting, she needs to send out the invites. Let her take care of it and take the weight off your shoulders!
Post # 6
just wanted to add that this sounds fun and in my opinion, very well orchestrated considering the scenario.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone for your advice.
I think it will be fun and a good compromise to everything.
Post # 8
@Asparagus: I am in a very simiar position but a little different. We are also planning a small wedding with about 65 people. He is Chinese and his parents want to do a Chinese wedding banquet in addition to the reception. Most of his family is not coming to the ceremon/reception (they do not traditionally have a ceremony). However, his parents do not speak English, so I will be responsible for inviting my guests (his mom expects them to be there). What I am wondering is, what is the timeline for your day? I wanted to do a morning reception but the banquet is in the evening – 6-10 p.m. How much time are you going to have between receptions? I live in Manhattan so there is lots for folks to do in the down time. How are you handling that for the people that are going to both events?
Post # 9
I think it’s a little strange to be invited to a reception and not the wedding. I can understand you don’t want many people at the wedding but I think that means you shouldn’t have a reception with other people either.
I think if she wants to host something – she should arrange the entire thing and call it a party rather than sending out wedding invites.