Post # 1
Need some advise on this one ladies.
I was asked by lets call her Bride J to be her Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding in September. I was then asked by, lets call her Bride C to be the MOH in her wedding in August. It just so happens that these weddings are 2 weeks apart. Bride J is quite pissed off at me because by accepting the offers to be Maid/Matron of Honor in both I would not have time adequate time to devote to her wedding. Now I have to tell you that Bride J already has her dress, the bridesmaids and myself are already ordering our dresses, venue, music, dj and food are already done, or in the finishing stages. As far as Bride C’s wedding I will be the only attendant for her wedding, she is keeping the wedding small and she has TONS of “Mom” support.
Is it fair that Bride J is pissed off at me that I accepted Bride C’s Maid/Matron of Honor request?
How can I defuse this situation?
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s fair for her to be upset at you. Asking someone to be a bridesmaid doesn’t mean that they are obligated to devote all their time and attention to you. I’m sure you will do the best you can to help both brides.
Post # 4
I would honestly be a little jealous, especially since you’re her Maid/Matron of Honor and not just a bridesmaid, but I don’t think I’d make a big deal over it. Just explain to her that you’ll be available for both ladies, and neither is more important than the other.
Post # 5
I agree with @Bichon Frise:. The first bride has no right whatsoever to be upset or offended that you have accepted the second friend’s request for you to serve as her Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 6
Haha! This girl sounds like a bridezilla already. Tell her to calm down – you’ll be there for her as much as you possibly can. If she’s not cool with that, tell her you’re not up for it.
Post # 7
I think it is okay for her to express concern if she is going to rely on you for a lot of wedding projects and support, but I would make sure that she knows that the other bride’s wedding is all planned and set to go and that you are not going to need to support her as much. If you reassure her that you are going to be there for her wedding 100% and she understands that then I don’t think she should be up set. or at least she doesn’t have the right to be overly upset. There are only so many women in this world, eventually bridal parties are going to overlap.
Post # 8
Bride J would be within her rights to be pissed off if her husband decided to be the groom in another wedding, but I think she’s in the wrong for expecting you to not be Maid/Matron of Honor in the other wedding. She doesn’t get to make you feel bad that you have another friend who values you enough to ask you to stand up for her at a wedding that happens to be a few weeks away from Bride J’s. The fact that she worries about how much time you will have to devote to her wedding makes me wonder exactly what she’s expecting of you. You’re not her unpaid wedding coordinator.
Post # 9
@GreenGables: “Bride J would be within her rights to be pissed off if her husband decided to be the groom in another wedding …”
You made me laugh out loud in front of Darling Husband and my stepdaughter! THAT’S funny!
Post # 10
Yeah, she needs to get over herself! My best friend was the Maid/Matron of Honor in my wedding and her sister’s wedding one week from each other. The only person that had any right to be upset was her (haha).
Post # 12
My maid of honor is also maid of honor for another friend’s wedding, which is about a month before mine. I think our situations are quite similar, because my wedding planning is in the final stages, while our other friend is having a much more intimate wedding and has saved herself much of the stress and planning (smart girl!). There aren’t going to be any time conflicts that we can’t work around. As far as I know, the other bride isn’t upset that we’re sharing a maid of honor, because, you know, she’s not nuts.
Anyway, all this is to say that I totally understand why my best friend is in such high demand as a maid of honor: she is fantastic at planning and provides great ideas. Not to mention that she’s just an amazing person. I can’t even imagine being upset that she was asked to share her talents with another person who also treasures her friendship. Hopefully your friend will soon realize that she is lucky to have you as a maid of honor, and that sharing you doesn’t mean she’s losing you.
Edited to fix my terrible grammar.
Post # 13
Your friend has no reason to be upset with you. I’m sure you will be a lovely Maid/Matron of Honor to BOTH brides, and do what you can for each of them.