Post # 1
I found this on one of the blogs I read. Lately there have been threads about how to have/keep a marriage in good health. I was wondering if we, the hive, could come up with some others…
Why does it have to be so hard? What if two words could improve your marriage? Two words can … and will.
- Think big (look at the big picture of life and marriage, it’s not all about you)
- Get over (forgive again and again)
- Choose battles (not everything is worth the fight)
- Just stop (get help if you need)
- Shut up (there’s wisdom in knowing when to be quiet)
- Move on (let go of the past and live in the moment)
- Be smart (use your brain in every situation)
- Common sense (uh, hello, befriending an ex-girlfriend on Facebook is just plain stupid)
- Show up (there’s value to being together)
- Be present (engage your spouse when your together, don’t be lost at work or elsewhere)
- Grow up (this is what marriage is all about!)
Got two words to add?
Post # 6
I chose Be Present but a close second is Move On
Post # 7
I picked “choose battles,” because I think that is a very important one. When you choose to spend your life with someone you have to know what fights are worth fighting and what fights are pointless to start.
I also second “I understand.” It’s easy to say you know whats going on in your partner’s life, but it’s much harder to take the time to understand why things are the way they are.
Post # 8
-Think Positive, meaning “Assume the Best” (but it’s three words)
-Communicate (but it’s one word!)
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
I chose be present. Not being present was the reason my parents’ relationship failed. My dad always did his own thing (watched TV 24/7), and when my mom confronted him about not being happy, all he had to say was “What do you want from me, a divorce?” Until he’d said that, she hadn’t been considering one. I’d also pick trust/honesty as a second, but it’s not an option. 😉
Post # 10
THANK YOU how is that not on the list!
Take a look at why people cheat all to often the answer is “I’m not appriciated!”
I say thank you for compliments, chores completed, lovely gifts, laughing sessions, orgasms, hugs, kisses etc. All his efforts are apprciated and he knows it.
Post # 12
@vmec: Yes, yes. I was wracking my brain on this one. I make sure that my husband knows that the little things count like taking out the trash or something like that. I believe that appreciation is a huge part of marriage. Being thankful for what your spouse does and also being there. It’s one of those things that you have to teach other, so that they feel loved and wanted. Last night, I did a little happy dance that the trash was taken out. Just my way of showing how I appreciate what he does for me and our marriage.
Post # 13
@vmec:yeah! I totally love Thank You! They say that for a healthy marriage, you should say 5 positive things for every one negative thing! Anyone who has read “7 habits of highly effective people” will understand the importance of building up an emotional bank account, and one of the easiest ways to do that is to be genuinely appreciative.
I think a lot of the words on the list are really kind of negative… I guess the explanations beside them make them better, but still, I think being positive overall is super imortant.
Post # 14
Common sense (uh, hello, befriending an ex-girlfriend on Facebook is just plain stupid)
Who would be doing the befriending? Stupid for him?
Neat thread and I chose 2&3
Edit: I would have chose thank you had it been on there. I thank my FH all the time for things like making the bed to surprising me with a gift for no reason. I also thank him for being HIM. Just randomly, I tell him that quite a bit actually. I love him for who he is through and through (aw.. sorry for my mushy moment)
Post # 15
I chose “common sense”, because if you use common sense, you’ll do the rest.
Post # 16
@Loribeth: oooh. I didn’t even think about that. Seriously, that is deep. 🙂
I chose be present. Laugh, Cry, Engage, communicate, share experiences. A close second was Choose Battles, but, I take it back because I agree so much with Loribeth.