(Closed) 2 year engagement frustrations

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We are in the final stretches of a 14-month engagement.  Neither one of us wanted a long engagement, but it just made sense for us because we got engaged in the summer and didn’t want a summer wedding because of the heat at that time of year where we live.  Plus, we both love fall!  

I definitely know how you feel, though, and there were times (especially right around the 10-11 month mark) that it just seemed to drag on.  We’ve watched others get married before us, and we’ve lamented at how we just want to be married already.  We’ve even had days where we almost went to the courthouse ahead of our actual wedding.  

However, now that we’re just over two months out, I can say this with confidence:  1. Time will FLY BY from here, I promise!!  2. It’s been so nice having a long engagement with time to really save money and do DIY projects.  3.  Even with all that time, I’m getting a little stressed/anxious about still having stuff to do! and 4. I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED now that we’re getting close that it doesn’t even matter how long we’ve been engaged.  We cannot wait.  It’s going to be awesome.  

So hang in there!!  You will be so happy next June, I promise.  Good luck!  πŸ™‚

Post # 18
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I had a 21 month engagement, so I feel your pain! When you get to your 6 month mark, it will go by super fast! 

My only advice for long engagement people is to not purchase expensive items or put deposits down until you are CLOSE to the date. I was lucky that I was able to sell $400 of lanterns because I changed my color scheme 8 months to go. But it could have been a LOT worse if I hadn’t. 

Post # 19
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m going to be there soon, lol. It’s what we need to do since I’ll be in school, but I’d prefer sooner

Post # 21
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@ltj14:  well, this is grad school, but I need to change jobs before the wedding and more school should help that

Post # 23
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wish I could say I understand!  We’ve been engaged for only 8 months and sometimes that feels like forever!  I am 30 and Fiance is 35, so we both knew we wanted to marry immediately.  Just enjoy it!

Post # 24
Member
1680 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ltj14: Yep! I’ve been there too! Fiance and I dated for 5 years before he proposed. Add to that a 2 year engagement. That makes 7 years on our wedding day! Like you, I didn’t mind being engaged while in college, but I wanted a degree before a husband. It was my outward validation that I’ve mastered every natural step before marriage.

For a little while, I was getting really annoyed by all the weddings popping up around me. Like you, they didn’t know each other as long (or as well) and I was getting ancy. Thankfully, as the wedding planning increased, the jealousy decreased. I just don’t care anymore. Finally, less than a month to go and it doesn’t matter anymore πŸ™‚

Post # 25
Member
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We were together for almost four years before we got engaged and, due to grad school, had a 2+ year engagement. I totally understand your frustration, but I promise, when it’s your turn…all of that frustration will dissolve. I know it’s hard, but in the meantime, try to be just as happy for and supportive of your friends and family as you hope they will be for you!

 

Post # 27
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

UGH, yes!!!! We got engaged in Jun’11 and are getting married next month. We will also be together 9 years a few days before our wedding. It’s been a LONG run lol

We had his brother get engaged after us and married before us. At first we were a little edgy about it, but it ended up working out fine. No resentment. We actually got to learn from them on what to do and what not to do. Plus it was nice having my soon to be sister in law going through the same emotions I was and dealing with our FIL’s.

It’s frustrating, I know…but seriously, once it becomes your time finally…you’ll forget all about it. It goes fast and it goes slow. I feel like Jan-July just flew by…now we have 44 days left and I feel like its dragging lol we just want the day to be here already! 

Also, once it all starts coming together its going to be so weird not hearing people say “OH, you have sooooooo much time!” I’s like “wow, its FINALLY getting here!”. Don’t fret too much, since you have so much time its going to be perfect and you will get everything you want πŸ™‚

 

Post # 28
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

In the end we will be engaged 26 months. Right now we’ve got 73 days left.

 

You need to STOP. STOP STOP STOP. Stop worrying about the time left, stop feeling bad about everyone else. When you get the 6 month mark you will wonder where the time went. Do little things here and there for the wedding to make yourself feel better and remind yourself that it is going to happen. But please please please don’t wish the time way. Or you will end up like me, 73 days away and freaking out πŸ™‚

I had some friends get engaged after us/married before (May and July). Honestly, I really enjoyed seeing how they did things and having an idea of how things ran so I could change or modify our stuff. One of the weddings was an aboslute disaster time-wise so that helped me know what NOT to do. 

10 months is going to fly by-enjoy it πŸ™‚

Post # 29
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Fiance and I dated for about 3 and half years before getting engaged and we are one year into our three year engagement.  So I feel your pain!!!!  I sometimes feel sorry for myself but then I realize how fast the last year flew by and feel better because before I know it I will be engaged.  Yeah it’s hard watching everyone get what you want but you just have to remind yourself that this is right for your relationship and as long as you are happy the majority time, nothing else matters. We started at over 1,000 days till the wedding and are two days away from being down to 700 days.  It’s exciting!!! So don’t feel bad about your decisions and rejoice in the good things that happen, even if they seem small and insignificant. Fiance said he’ll take me out to dinner to celebrate our 700 day mark πŸ™‚

Post # 30
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think the only thing that bother’s me about having such a long engagement, is that we’ve (he’s??) really lost the excitement of it. I know so many people that have gotten engaged and married already within the time we’ve been engaged. I think couples that do that get to enjoy the excitement of it all because they dont have time for anything else ‘we are engaged – yay! we’re planning – yay! we’re married – yay!’ it’s like a nonstop fest of joy (ok – i’m speculating a bit and am totally aware that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows for everyone)

We knew it would be at least a year and probably two so we didn’t jump into planning, and now even though we (I) have started planning- it’s not really “new” anymore. We’ve been together for 6 years, been living together for 5 and it’s just – dare i say it – kinda boring. My fiance wants little to do with the planning, so it’s really just been more of a task for me to make sure everything gets done. Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying the planning, but instead of “i’m engaged i need to find a dress!” i’m all “ok…weve been engaged for a year…suppose i should go dress shopping at some point.”

I do get what you’re saying about people being married longer but not being together nearly as long, but i imagine if anyone asks how long weve been married, i’ll be sure to make it a point to add that we have been together since (what feels like) dinosaurs roamed the earth πŸ˜‰

Everyone goes at their own pace. Ours is slow..i’m ok with that.

Post # 31
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have been engaged for a while and I love it just enjoying our engagement many people wonder why we set our wedding day for may 17 2014 they tell me it’s a long time but I feel fine and like you said yes a lot of my friends got engaged after me and are getting married before me but just think of it this way you will be having fun at your honeymoon and theirs will be over lol

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