2 year relationship not progressing as it should?

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Tennessee

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@MiniMeow:  

I agree with this 100% 

Post # 17
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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@nycbee12:  It’s not aimless if you’re happy and content. You’re not ready to move in or get engaged yet. So, those are long term goals for you that you can discuss with him to make sure you’re on the same page with timing, but other than that, just enjoy your relationship. 

You don’t have to meet a criteria or milestone every few years in your relationship. It’s not aimless or floating to be happy in your relationship. That’s a goal met. 

Post # 18
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

It sounds like you’re content enough for now, but you’re wondering where he’s at. Only way to know is to ask directly. It’s not being needy to ask about your mutual future.

His making holiday plans without affirmatively telling you does indicate to me this may be a relationship of convenience for him. After 2 years together, if you’ve already met all his friends, this is off.

If he has no thoughts of living with you yet, that’s not necessarily a red flag, but it’s also not a green flag.

You may not be interested in engagement for another few years, but you should know if he’s interested in engagement and marriage at all. You don’t want to hit an age where you want to get engaged, and find out then he’s not interested.

Just ask him, hey, do you see us living together? Was there a reason you didn’t ask me to spend the 4th with your friends? I’m not saying we have to spend every holiday together, but I thought you would have at least thought of me. Do you see yourself married? By when? 

Post # 19
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee

The good part here is that you are taking some time to discern what YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP. There is nothing wrong with dating for two years without a long term plan. If both people feel the same way. Two years into a relationship, most women want to hear “I love you” or something regarding a future. Alll of us have only so much time in our life and we don’t want to waste it. If you are a couple for two years, I would expect to spend the July 4th holiday with my boyfriend unless there was some specific reason not to. The fact that he didn’t consider you is concerning. I would pull back a little and see if he pursues you more. He just may want a casual relationship but I don’t think you want that. I would want more in two years. Why? There are a lot of people that can just date forever and the one that wants more gets hurt. Sometimes you have to protect your heart and not be too giving. 

Post # 20
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee

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@nycbee12:   it seems like a pretty casual relationship at this point. Which isn’t bad, considering your ages etc. But it’s probably time to have a talk. Maybe he is comfortable  with things as they are. And the independence.  

 

Maybe, if your friend hadn’t interjected, you would be too. 

 

No way to know unless you sit down n talk. Maybe when you are face to face. 

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