(Closed) 20 and newly engaged

posted 9 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 16
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Congratulations!!  By The Way, if 9-8-07 is the day you started dating, its also my birthday πŸ™‚  I was 20 and my husband was 21 when we got engaged last year.  We just got married last Saturday at 21/22.  I heard the “too young” stuff a lot too at the beginning, mostly from people who didn’t really know us.  Those close to us knew we had been together since junior year of high school and they knew we were close to finishing college (I graduated a year early at 20 and he graduated this past May).

Good Luck!!  I also agree with PP who say to begin buying things now so you get a little at a time instead of becoming overwhelmed later.

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@HZ: DH and I were just talking on our honeymoon about the fact that (hopefully!) we will be able to celebrate big anniversaries.  My grandparents just celebrated their 55th and they are my inspiration πŸ™‚ 

Post # 17
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I just turned 20 and I feel your struggle. I just vent to my Fiance a lot when people make me mad and he is so good about calming mw down and reminding me that if people disagree they obviously don’t know me because to anyone close to me they know that we have been ready for a while now. You just have to take it in stride sometimes and hold your head high. People are going to critical sometimes and at times all I can do is just smile and nod waiting for a time to make a graceful exit. 

About the engagement length I wanted a summer wedding but that means that our engagement period is less then a year. Crazy I know. That drive people nuts as well but I have never doubted my decision and if Dev wanted to elope tomorrow I would do it in a heartbeat. When ur Fiance is the one person that always believe in you why would you ever look elsewhere?

Post # 18
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Make some more room on the boat, I got engaged about a month ago at age 21, fiance is 22. We are planning for a yearlong engagement and will both be graduating college the same month

I also got engaged about a month ago at age 21 with my fiancé being 22. We are planning for a yearlong engagement and will both be graduating college the same month as the wedding so lots of exciting but stressful things happening this year.

My advice is to continue studying and start planning as soon as possible, with school there are sometimes that time for planning will be tight. Once you choose the big ticket items like venue, music, photographer… you have a starting point from which to polish off the details along the engagement and accommodate the budget.

P.S Forget all the stuff people tell you, my parents got married at 20/22 and they are still together and still in love 25 years after, so if you love each other and are committed to making it work you, you can have a happy fulfilling marriage. 

 

Post # 19
Member
35 posts
Newbee

congrats!!

I’m in the same situation. We’re both 20 also. I feel like there is no RIGHT age to get married there are plenty on 30 somethings who get married and get divorced and i know couples who got married younger and have been married 10/20/30 years. The simple fact is that 50 % of marriages end in divorce, young and old. (I know that as 20 yr olds the numbers are against us but I think it’s worth a shot. 

In 50 years I hope we’re both still happily married!

Post # 20
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Welcome and congrats!  We got engaged at 19/20 as well and people told us we were too young.  But we waited until we graduated college to get married and it’s not their place to decide anyway so we just ignored them.  We had a long engagement too and I waited until about a year before the wedding to make any serious plans.

Post # 21
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

So, I’m 21 and my Fiance is 26. We got engaged a year ago so I was only 20 at the time, and I have to say that I’m pretty lucky since I hadn’t had anyone say that I was too young to be engaged or get married. BUT I do have some advice when it comes to planning. Spend a year before your actual year of planning (so I guess 2 years in advance of your set date) to gather all ideas, plans, etc. I spent a whole year before that actual actions of planning, gathering magazines, pictures, inspiration, information, etc. on what to do and all of that which gave me a HUGE step forward when I started actually planning. If I hadn’t researched before I actually started the planning, I would be so stressed out because there is so much to do! I’d be too overwhelmed. Also, doing this will give you a really good idea of what you want, how your ideas change, etc. For the most part my ideas have stayed the same, but there are huge aspects that have changed, and its good that they changed and I had time to make that change, rather than not having enough time in the planning process. The dress I picked is something totally opposite of what I thought I wantes, but I absolutely love it!

But I hope that helped, and congrats on your engagement! I know it might seem like its a long way away to get married, but trust me, time will fly. Take a good amount of time just being happy with being engaged and gather ideas! It will be totally worth it! πŸ™‚

Post # 22
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I hear you! 

My fiance and I got engaged when I was 19, he was 22. I just turned 20, and he is turning 23 in a week, and we are getting married this August. I get the “you’re too young, shouldn’t you just wait?” “If its true love, it wont mind waiting,” blah blah blah. 

I just smile and say that we know what is right for us, while thinking that they are just jealous. πŸ™‚ 

He graduated college when he was 19, and has been in his ‘career’ for four years now, but I am still two years from graduating, so I did get a lot of flak about that at first, however, it doesn’t bother us.

The most common question I actually get is how my parents feel about paying for a wedding when I am so young. It is totally worth the prying questions when I see their face when I tell them my man and I are paying for it all out of pocket. πŸ™‚ 

 

As for what you need/can do right now, I suggest simply getting your affairs in order… start a guest list of family, decide on a ‘feel’ for the wedding. This way you can start collecting/creating aspects of your wedding at a leisurly pace, opposed to rushing. Rushing makes everything more expensive! πŸ™‚

 

Congrats and have a good time with the planning! 

Post # 23
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

my Fiance and I are both 21 and we dont get problems at all. Around my area its normal to get married early. I will be married when my Fiance and I are almost 23. Considering my parents got married at 19 and 21 and my dads parents got married at 15 and 18 im waiting a long time lol

Post # 24
Member
598 posts
Busy bee

My Fiance and I are 19 year old university students who live together and have been engaged since June. We grew up together, have dated for 3 years and have a 3 year long engagement. Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind πŸ™‚ We have our family’s support and that is all that matters! Best of luck to you guys πŸ™‚

Try not to plan your wedding now, your mind will change and people may hold you to your first word. We set up a joint savings account where $60 from each of us is automatically withdrawl every month to be put towards our wedding πŸ™‚

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