Post # 1
i’m sure I’m going to catch some crap for this, but here goes. i figure that’s what the internet is for!
I am a resident and invited all my coworkers in the same year of residency to my wedding. That’s 11 people. About 7 coworkers are coming plus 2 spouses.
Today I got a notification about a gift. . .it was purchased by one girl I really like, but the card read ‘Congratulations and best wishes from your fellow (insert job title): name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name’.
I thought that was sweet and a shared giflt makes sense. . until I saw what it was. . .at $20 platter!! Well, it was originally $40 but now on sale for $20.
do you think they are just being horribly cheap? we are paying for 9 people’s meals! or, do you think the gift was just from this one girl and for some reason she decided to put everyone else’s name on it?
and before you say it. . yes. I know no one is obligated to get me a gift. but there is also etiquette for a reason. . .
Post # 3
How do you even split $20 7 ways? WTH! lol
Post # 4
Maybe it was more of an office gift, and the individuals that are coming will get you a gift when they attend?
I know you’re not supposed to want gifts, lol, but that’s like, $2 per person. A wee bit ridiculous…
Post # 5
I get what you’re saying. We had some people surprise us by giving us nothing for a present; I would’ve been happy with a card saying “congrats!” Have no idea on whether it’s just fom her or from a group, but is it possible that everyone is really broke paying student loans, paying other bills, and just trying to get by?
Post # 6
Hmmm…I would probably feel conflicted. I truly didn’t expect gifts of any kind at my wedding. BUT at the same time if SEVEN coworkers were invited and they chipped in and got me a $20 platter I may be a little perplexed.
I don’t know everyone’s financial situation and I am not likely to get pissed at a “cheap” gift, but like I said, I may be a little confused and my feelings would be hurt.
Post # 6
Oh my. That is crazy. I would totally feel slighted. Do you think it could be a shower gift? Maybe they will be bringing actual gifts to the wedding? Wow!
Post # 7
at a certain point it just becomes humorous, you know?
Post # 8
Well to be honest- maybe employment factors come into play. For example, at my job, we can not give each other more than $20 for gifts. Now, they probably each could have contributed 20 each but – maybe they figured the platter was enough. Also, how do you know you won’t receive actual gifts, monetary or not during your reception. When my SO and I went to a wedding, he didn’t give his gift of $150 until after the bride and groom were married and getting congratulated.
Post # 9
While it “is better to give than to receive” that is truly like a slap in the face! Especially if you KNOW they can at least swing $20 each. Maybe they’ll pull through in the end.
Post # 10
I agree that the whole not expecting a girft is the right way.
But really? A platter?
Post # 11
since I really like my coworkers, i am going to give them the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise!
like jo.lee and others pointed out, maybe it is an ‘office gift’ to also represent the people who were invited and aren’t coming, and maybe at least some of the folks comng will also purchase a separate gift between now and the wedding.
if not. . THEN i can start to feel resentful, after the wedding (j/k, sort of 😉 )
Post # 12
Is there any way that this gift is one of several shipments? For example, I was confused and offended when a couple who is close friends with my husband gave us ONE random decorative pillow as a wedding gift, but then a few days later, the rest of the shipment came. Maybe they are sending you multiple gifts that are just on backorder or not able to be shipped together and coming later? I would wait to see if that’s the case. You may be hurt/offended for no reason, as that’s what happened to me.