(Closed) 20-Someting Men Cuddling With Mother?

posted 4 years ago in Holidays
Post # 61
Member
6441 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I find all this discussion fascinating because we are at exactly the point where this might start being an issue… except for the fact that my sons are still affectionate with me in passing (they hug and kiss me goodnight, but not much else), but have strongly identified with Darling Husband – just like I think they should and how I think it is normal for them to be. So they obviously like the fact that their mum wants to hug and kiss them, but regardless of how they feel, they pretend not to want that sort of affection. While I would love for them to still sit with me for a movie at home, I also understand that it is slightly odd now that they are much bigger than I am. They still hug and kiss me goodnight, but that’s about it. They are 15 and 13, and although they don’t have girlfriends, they still feel that “cuddling” with their mum is weird at this age. 

Whereas I’d love for there to be more physical affection between us, I also realize that they are not comfortable with that. I think that’s normal at this age. They are becoming young men and don’t feel as comfortable with their mum being as physically close as she used to be. 

While I’d like to say that canoodling with mum is “normal” for a young man in his 20’s, I don’t necessarily feel that it is. I do my best to make sure that my boys know that I am there for them no matter what, but by their own choice that doesn’t seem to include cuddling at this age.

Post # 62
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

     Ew.

Post # 64
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

alamana:  well, I am 21, and if I ever saw I guy doing this I would run as fast as I can.  No wonder they don’t have girlfriends.  This is absolutely an uncomfortable thing.  Maybe it is a result of psychological trauma from daddy…but this is beyond weird.  Mom needs to realize her boys will never have sucessful lives if they are to continue being coddled.  She will most likely never see them get married, because if I went to a boyfriends familk function nd he did that…I would be a bit scared.

Post # 65
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

I might be the only person here who doesn’t think this is weird. Maybe it’s because I am a mother and I want to be close to my children always. It’s hard to think that we can be so affectionate to our children as they are babies but it is considered “odd/strange/weird” once they hit a certain age and affection to family is crossing boundries in the opinon of others.

I guess because you keep saying “they were stroking each other like lovers” makes you feel uncomfortable like it’s sexual. But it’s not sexual and thats probably why they don’t think its’s weird at all and you do. Just last week my hudband and I were sitting on a couch with my mil and we were eating cake for a birthday. my husband and i had our cake on one plate and my mil was waiting for my fil to come through with their cake. the cake had fruit on it and each slice of cake has different fruit. My husband said “mum, don’t you like berries?” and fed her the cake. I think in the west feeding each other can also be considered sexual. My mil feeds me all the time. It’s not weird to me and so when I think about when my son is 20 and doesn’t want to cuddle with me on the couch or give me a kiss goodbye, makes me feel sad because he’s my child.

Post # 66
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

I’m a 20 something female, and my SO would not find it strange if I sat on the couch next to my dad and he put his arm around me, or I laid my head on his shoulder. He is my DAD for godsake. If I saw my SO do this to his mom, I would be like, aw thats sweet. Some people have more touchy feely relationships with their parents then others do. 

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