(Closed) $20? Unhelpful BM rant

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 47
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@MrsRidley:  It is rude that your FI’s sister is going to eat/drink and run. Just tell her that the food/drinks are for everyone to pregame for the festivities and you would love for her to be apart of the whole night. As far as your friend and the $20 think. As a poor college student, I kinda get it. I don’t know her situation, but maybe things are a little tight and she doesn’t want to talk about it. If she doesn’t come, I would just let you know that you’re sad she is unable to attend and then move on. If you or the other BM’s are talking smack about her, that can really cause some unwanted drama. As far as the Bridesmaid or Best Man with the makeup artist issues, just tell her that you changed it because she couldn’t be there so early and if the extra $15 is that serious then maybe  she could do her own makeup to save money. Be as nice as possible so they can’t say you were being a bride-zilla. 

Post # 48
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

How can someone with a full time job not save up $40? Are you sure she’s telling the truth? Because that’s just ridiculous.

Post # 49
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

View original reply
@oneofthesethings:  You gotta watch not agreeing with people in here. They report your posts and then accuse you of “attacking” them when you’re simply calling someone out on their BS. Then you get an inbox message from an “admin” who says you’re attacking people and violating the TOS – but when you ask the admin where SHE believes you’ve attacked people and violated the TOS, she mysteriously stops responding to your inboxes…


Post # 50
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If I had a friend who had a job and had no bills to pay that then said she didn’t have more than $20 in her pocket- you bet my ass I’d be wondering why. If its something bad and being that she’s my friend, I’d want to help. This same friend is likely the one who would say something later like ‘well I only had $20 and you didn’t give a hoot’ during a cry session.

Though they don’t have to spend anything, I think its kinda expected to an extent. We aren’t talking about a $700 trip to Vegas here. $20 is pretty reasonable so I don’t think OP is out of line.

As far as makeup goes, I have no advice on that for you…I don’t really understand why its such a big thing (I get that they all decided on it, themselves) but most ladies have a pretty good grasp on doing makeup.

Post # 51
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano\'s Humble

@12yrslater:  I agree with this. she paid for everything else, cleared the costs with the girls, THEN booked. then, realizing the first MA would be inconvenient for one bm, she found another, and yet again cleared it before booking. after she does all this, they renig. 

I’d be pissed too.

Post # 52
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with the posters who suggested canceling the ladies club. Normally I’d be with those that your BMs finances are not your business, but it sounds like altogether the BMs will have to pay around $100 to participate in your wedding which is way inexpensive. Unless there was a last min emergency that your friend feels is too personal to tell you, I would probably be frustrated too by her money woes.


However, I do think you’re being hard on your Future Sister-In-Law. Maybe she just doesn’t like strip clubs? Or maybe she’s like me and gets tired really early? To basically assume she’s just showing up for free snacks and cocktails is really not giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Post # 53
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with you on the makeup (since you told them ahead of time and are covering other expenses), but not the hens night.

Some people just don’t like clubs, and “ladies clubs” in particular. So why fork out $30 (+ drinks) to be in a loud club which she hates? (I’m guessing that’s the real reason rather than money). And sorry but it’s never cool to question other peoples’ finances, you never know the full story.

You seem to be upset about 2 out of 12 girls drinking at your place then going home. Since you are paying about $100 for drinks at your place, those 2 girls are costing you less than $10 each. Seriously, let it go, it’s not worth stressing about. Enjoy their company while they’re there, then go out with the other 10. No point having the other two coming if they don’t want to be there. I get that this is on top of other stuff (people bailing on organising the party then complaining about the makeup cost), but the hens’ night isn’t worth battling over.

Post # 54
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

OP, I don’t think you are being unreasonable and I am sorry that your girls don’t understad or care what you expected of them when they agreed to be in your bridal party…Fortunatly it will all go back to normal after the wedding if you just let things roll of your shoulders. Good luck!

Post # 55
1180 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

$65 is nothing for a MUA since they agreed on thepice before the booking. Add that they didn’t have to buy their dresses, shoes or jewelry…I think I may be a little bit mad. Maybe you should cancel your hen party or just go to the casino and not the club, maybe get a designated driver? I don’t know…sorry, not much help

Post # 57
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply


Yeah, I am sure you were referring to the OP as “a shitty friend” in the nicest possible way.  Not upsetting to the OP at all. 

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