Post # 1
i feel like i’ve written this post before. i hate being so indecisive. *sigh*
so. there is no real urgent reason to move the date to next year instead of 2012 other than FH and I wanting to be married sooner. problem is, the only way we could do this is by getting married at the courthouse and just having a small dinner with immediate family afterwards. Money just wouldn’t allow for us to have the big wedding (not really that big – 80 guests, 6k budget) by 2011 because we cannot save that much by then (we are paying for it all ourselves)….
so the two options are
1) get married in 09/2011 by the JOP, and have a small dinner at a restaurant with only parents, brothers, and sisters, best man and maid of honor and their sig. others….. then have renewal of vows and big reception in 09/2012.
2) hold out until 09/2012 and just have ceremony and reception then.
I have nothing against getting married at the courthouse and just having a small family dinner. Its just that my heart was looking forward to the bigger wedding. But wouldn’t the first option be doing double for nothing??? or is it common to do it this way?
we are both torn. we both would love to get married sooner but would love the big wedding with all our friends and family there.
should we just hold out until 2012? is there any benefit to getting married sooner that I haven’t thought of?
Post # 3
both options are totally valid. from your post though, it sounds like you really want the big wedding with everyone there to see your ceremony. unless there’s a reason to get married now (like health insurance or buying a house or something), i would wait until 2012. i totally, completely support having a small ceremony at one point and a big reception later, but it sounds like you want the big ceremony.
Post # 4
I’d hold out until 2012. I don’t really see the point of having the JOP marry you now, then having the big ole reception later in 2012 since it’s not like there are extenuating circumstances. I think a vow renewal on your one year is sort of…well…pointless and dragging out the festivities. Just get married in 2012. I’ve never known anybody IRL to do this vow renewal thing, though.
Post # 5
Based on your post I’d say hold out for 2012. It’s really not too too far away. Unless there’s a legal reason you need to get married sooner, there’s no harm in waiting. That will give you more time to save, plan, and get good deals.
Post # 6
i think yous are all right. i guess i just needed outside opinions to make sure i wasn’t going crazy over this issue….lol
@ kitzy – ur right…there is no real reason as of right now for us to get married sooner other than the fact that we both just want it to get here already! haha…. but yes, i think i do really want the big ceremony with everyone there to watch me walk down the aisle….
Post # 7
I’m another vote for 2012, but I might be biased. 😉
I see where you’re coming from on both sides, but I think it’s best to wait and have the larger reception. We could have pulled our wedding off for 2011 as well, but pushing it to 2012 means we have time to save up for the things we really want. In the end, it’s personal preference… but I’d much rather wait 1 more year and celebrate with ALL of my friends and family rather than rush it. (I’ve also never known anyone IRL having a 1 yr vow renewal/reception)
When I find myself bummed out about the long engagement I just remind myself: I am only engaged for x more months, I will be married for the rest of my life.
Post # 8
I understand wanting to get married sooner, I really do I have been engaged for 3+ years..
But if your heart is set on the larger reception, then I would wait for that because you never know what is going to come up or how your plans will change in the event that you get married with a JoP and have a small dinner– if you both want the larger reception you will have to sit down and hash out how you think it would go down if you went with option 1.
It is totally doable, but it really comes down to how patient you are, how much money you want to spend in the long run and what you really want.
Post # 9
I am leaning towards team 2012. We are kinda struggling with the same thing right now: planned elopment just the two of us in June 2011 vs. bigger May 2012 wedding. We decided we likely will go with May 2012 b/c I *think* I will regret not having a formal celebration of our relationship. I dont want to have a daughter then go all psycho on her b/c I never had a wedding; nor do I want to go to other friends’ weddings and not be able to be happy for them b/c I am resentful. It’s hard b/c of the sheer amount of money that will be drained from our pcokets for this wedding. I REALLY REALLY hope it’s worth it in the end.
As far as the vow renewal thing, I never really got it outside of there being a pressing reason as others have mentioned. It’s not that I judge it (I dont think it’s inherently a bad thing) but I just mentally don’t understand it. It’s like just get married once and get it over with. I get confused about what is the real anniversary, etc.
Post # 10
What is your reasoning for a courthouse wedding? Do you need insurance or is it for other reasons? Do you just want to be married now? I say wait for 2012 if there are no pressing matters calling for a courthouse wedding.
Post # 11
I say hold out until 2012.
Post # 12
I say 2012, as it seems like you wouldn’t be as satisfied with the JOP. Nothing is wrong with it, but it sounds like you would maybe regret it since it sounds like your 2012 wedding would be more of your vision.
It’s not so bad, promise! I’m also a 2012 bride and learning this patience is helping me in other aspects of my life as well. GO FIGURE. 🙂