(Closed) 2/3 sets of parents contributing to the wedding… (vent, longish)

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yeah, I think you need to bite your tongue. They may contribute or make a gift eventually, or they may not. But they don’t really owe you anything, especially not just because your other parents gave you money. Just enjoy the wedding and your family!

Post # 4
3943 posts
Honey bee

No, dont say anything. Like you said, its not their responsibility to pay for anything for your wedding. And who knows…maybe a very generous wedding gift is in your future?

Post # 6
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Dont say anything.. But I can see how this is frustrating for sure.. Its like that with FI’s parents.. ugh.

Post # 8
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I realise this is your inlaws, so it’s probably not your place to say anything – how does your fiance feel? If anything should be said, it should come from him.

I am in this situation and it’s very upsetting.

My inlaws, grandparents on both sides and mother have generously helped us out with the honeymoon, cash for the wedding itself and the dress – without us asking for anything. My father who is remarried and makes 6 figures so does his new wife, have not offered a penny. I find this sort of behaviour embarassing. Obviously my mother (who has very little but has helped so much) knows about my father’s behaviour, but I am embarassed about his behaviour in light of my inlaws who have been more than generous.

I will be saying, when I get the nerve, that although we have the funds to have a wedding without his help, that it is very hurtful that he wouldn’t consider helping his first born out with the most important day of her life.

Post # 9
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wouldn’t say anything. I’m glad you have two sets of parents willingly contributing to your wedding, but I would feel really uncomfortable asking them for money. I know if is frustrating considering they are better off than the other sets of parents. Maybe they plan to give you a very generous wedding gift. 

Post # 10
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Miss Lilac:

Y arn’t they supposed to pay for themselves at the destination?  that’s the only thing you should ask of them.  It’s really strange if your other parents pay for their stay and food and stuff.

Post # 11
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

In some cultures it is viewed as an insult to offer to pay for a wedding for a couple, it implies that they don’t believe the couple can do it themselves. Or perhaps , while they were debating it, everything they wanted to help with was taken. I think it is a little ridiculous to complain that your family is so generous that you don’t have to stress about the wedding, but not EVERYONE gave you money. Fiance and I are paying for our own wedding entirely, with no offer from either sets of parents to help and it is so very very stressful. If it really bothers you then you could drop hints like “I really would also like to have “blah blah and blah, but I am not sure if it is in the budget..”

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