(Closed) 25% of my guests didn’t bring a gift and/or card

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think expecting a card is out of the question but expecting a gift might be a reach. It tough times for people now, so always keep that in mind. 

The one year rule is odd to me and I think there was some discussion on this earlier today (I can’t find the thread). For me (and some people on that thread) I would say about three months is about as long as I would give someone.

Are you just holding the card so that if they do send you a gift you can thank them, or are just debating sending a card, period?

Post # 4
Member
9 posts
Newbee

Much agreed with mittens

Post # 7
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would just send the cards. 

Plus, your guests don’t know (although they can assume) that you paid $300 a head, and you shouldn’t use that as a measure of what the expect. Rich people are cheap, that’s why they’re rich. Case in point, Father-In-Law is very wealthy, he gave us $100. Make it $200 if you count that he paid for our brunch the next morning. Where is the logic in that? I have no idea.

Post # 8
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

The thing is, while it’d be nice to get a gift, it’d also be nice to be acknowledged in some way via a card. Even a note on notebook paper. But from these 25%, I didn’t get ANYTHING.


Totally understandable, people are just weird though, ya know? It’s like trying to understand why your aunt bought you hideous thanksgiving theme kitchen towels and not a spatula. These things just don’t occur to people.

Post # 10
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yeah, we didn’t get a card or gift from most of our guests, including DH’s grandparents, aunts, and most of my family and friends.

I really don’t know why.

Post # 11
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Gifts are nice, but certainly shouldn’t be expected or something to be angry over if not received. I personally think it’s poor form to not give a gift but it’s nothing to be stressing out over. It was your choice to spend $300 a plate.

Post # 12
Member
44 posts
Newbee

Not giving cards/ gifts seems to be more common.  I’ve heard, through friends, of brides stressing out because they thought they must have misplaced or lost cards and/or gifts.  It turned out that some guests hadn’t bothered to give anything.  I believe it is the thought that counts and any little symbol would be appreciated.  However, I think it’s only common courtesy to give a card of congrats.  I would wait about a month max to receive all cards and gifts.

Post # 13
Member
44 posts
Newbee

@ThePrincessMaggie:   That’s really not fair!!  I can’t believe people would do that.  Even a card would be nice.  I know not everyone can afford to give generous gifts.

Post # 14
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Give them a few months. I’ve never not given a gift, but I’ve definitely given them late.

Post # 15
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I didn’t get cards/gifts from several gifts. I wouldn’t hold your breath waiting for a card/gift to arrive. I only received 1 gift in the mail and it arrived approx 2 weeks after the wedding. I say count your losses and just write a Thank You card that says thanks for coming.

Post # 16
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

Everyone says that gifts shouldn’t be expected, but honestly I would be so hurt if my friends did this to me. I’m so sorry, OP. I’m really hoping that on my wedding day this doesn’t happen to me, but I have a sad, sad feeling that it might. There are 3 people who I don’t think will bring a gift or even a card for me— and they are both getting guests. Oh well. Unfortunately events like these show you who some people are.

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