(Closed) 25% of my guests didn’t bring a gift and/or card

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 122
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly, I would be very annoyed and upset if that many people didn’t get me a gift! I mean, it’s proper etiquette to bring a gift or at the very least a card! Bad economy or not, that is so tacky and cheap of people… I think for a wedding, a gift should be expected from the people in attendance. Wow…

Post # 123
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly, I wouldn’t send the guests that didn’t bring any gift/card a thank you. I mean, in all sincerity, they should send YOU a thank you for the free meal, booze, etc. That is so rude. Gifts shouldn’t necessarily be demanded, but to some extent, they should b anticipated… at least a card, SOMETHING. Ppl are just weird and cheap.

Post # 124
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

25% is a pretty high number.  I hear about the one or two people who forgot the card in the car or something like that but never heard 25%!  And yes I know just because people are invited to a wedding doesnt mean that they have to bring something but come on.   I do not think it is unreasonable to be a bit surprised that someone didnt get you something, even a card. 

I wouldn’t count on people sending you stuff one year prior.  Esocially not younger people.  I am only 24 myself and a lot of my friends just do not have the etiquette to think of sending something later in the year, even if they are in a better financial state. 

Post # 125
Member
3696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t have the time right now to read all of these, but…

Feeling like your guests are ingrates for not bringing a card at the very least is perfectly justifiable.  I wager those brides claiming they will be so thrilled that anyone just shows up either are not paying for the wedding or will change their tune after they write that check at the end of the night. 

For me – I’m not at all upset about the couple people who gave us something like $20.  But I’ll be honest, it stings a little that those were the people (a “couple” – husband’s friend and his flavor of the month) who drank the most at the open bar and enjoyed themselves the most in the limo we paid for (that I found out later he really encouraged my husband to get one big enough for everyone). 

So I’m on both sides of the fence. If someone didn’t even bring a card – don’t send them one.  But don’t harbor resentment towards them, it isn’t worth it in the long run.  If they do come through in the next year, send a card then. 

Post # 126
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I know this is an old post, but I have to chime in… I am surprised that so many people empathize with the original poster. I think it is SO tacky or you to keep a mental checklist of who gave you a gift and who didn’t! Yes, it is common to get gifts from your guests. But it should NEVER be expected. Maybe they didn’t get you anything because you’re too materialistic.

Or maybe they just haven’t given you a gift yet. I have taken up to six months after a wedding to give a gift. How will you feel if you get a gift in a month and had spent all this energy being annoyed at them for not getting you something?

Last comment (because I am worked up and have to resist typing a novel here); Who cares how much you spent on your wedding. That’s on you– your guests don’t have to make up that gap. I wonder if YOU spent that, or if that amount was spent ON you by your families… You don’t give the impression of being a generous person.

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