Post # 1
My husband and I were married this past June, and found out in September that we are expecting a little one in May. (: I haven’t heard anything about anyone throwing me a baby shower. Do you think I would know by now at 27 weeks if there was one being planned? I’m a little saddened by the idea of not having one, since I’ve always felt it was an exciting part of having your first baby. But, if no one has decided to throw me one, I am not going to ask or plan one for myself as I feel like it’s just tacky. The main reason I am wondering if I have crossed the threshhold of “if I was getting a shower, I would know” is because I need to start getting things ready and buying the things I am going to need for the baby. Everyone keeps telling me I’m not supposed to buy anything until after I have a shower, but I don’t want to wait too long and then have to splurge on everything all at once and then try to get everything ready when I’m about to pop. Thanks In Advance
Post # 2
I suspect you aren’t getting a shower. Start buying things you will need when baby first arrives in the next 4 weeks. If someone does offer there is still time for a shower.
Post # 3
I’m sorry, it sounds like you aren’t getting a shower. Even though mine was mostly a surprise my girlfriends still told me the date so I wouldn’t go off and make other plans. Plus they nagged me to start a registry. I’d start getting the stuff you’ll really need in the first couple weeks and if a surprise shower happens then it’s just bonus.
Post # 4
Are showers normally surprises? My friends who had baby showers thrown for them knew about them, bought a cute outfit to wear, and set up registries.
Sorry to hear, I can empathize. I’m a bit sad that I probably won’t be getting a bridal shower (only glimmer of hope is if step Mother-In-Law decides to throw one) so it wouldn’t surprise me if there’s no baby shower either for us either one day.
Post # 5
I would start by making a registry of things you think you’ll like or need. It will work for your own planning and also for a shower if someone comes through with one. I would also be blunt with “everyone” who is telling you not to buy stuff: “I haven’t heard that anyone is planning a shower.” Maybe everyone thinks someone else is planning one and hearing that it’s not in the works will insprire someone. Or at least it will stop them from discouraging you from shopping. If you buy stuff from your registry, make sure to mark it off. Even if there’s not a shower, some people might look for a registry and get you a gift anyway, either before or after the baby’s born. Best wishes!
Post # 6
also – many registries offer freebies and discounts so even if you don’t end up with a shower make one for yourself and save some cash!
Post # 7
My expectation is that no, no one has anything planned. Are you the first in your family/circle to have a baby, or can you comment on how it went down for your sister, best friends, etc. Only one of my friends has had a child so far and her mom threw her the shower – are you close with your mom? Showers aren’t done in my religion so there’s obviously no precedent for them in my family.
Post # 8
Are any of your friends procrastinators? Maybe one of them will offer closer to your due date. One of my friends offered when I was 28 weeks pregnant and I was like “Thanks, but [Less close friend who is a planner] is hosting.”
I would still make an Amazon registry. You get a nice completion discount if you make one big purchase of all the things!
Post # 9
Hmm. Well first of all, agree with PPs that you should make a registry no matter what. We (well, DH since I was too anxious to touch it) made ours on Amazon because even though I didn’t want any showers, we wanted the welcome box, 15% completion discount (which can be used on 2 orders up to $2k), and diaper/wipes bonus.
I ended up having a work shower last week at nearly 34 weeks. Mainly got Amazon gift cards which was great, but maybe like 20% of registry items got bought too. Then this past weekend, we ordered the rest of the things that we need before baby comes with one of the completion discounts. We left a few things on the registry that we either know we don’t need right away or aren’t even sure we need. We have until mid-June to use the second completion discount so will do that later.
So of course after we placed our order this past weekend, DH’s boss emailed me inviting me to a surprise shower that she wants to throw for him next week (when I’ll be nearly 36 weeks!). So surprise showers later in the game can come up. I figure if anyone gets us anything, we can either return some of the stuff we already bought or maybe they’ll get some of the stuff still on the registry that we were waiting on getting until after the baby comes.
I’d go ahead and get things you think you need and save receipts just in case!
Post # 10
I am the first in my immediate family to have a baby. I have a stepsister, but we are not close and she lives on the other side of the country. Our parents got married when we were adults. My mother and I are not close, I feel like my stepmom would throw me one, if she knew no one else was. But I hate making a deal out of it, and don’t want to be the one the bring it up. My aunt is the one who hosted my bridal shower, and I am thinking she isn’t wanting to have to throw another shower a year later. My grandparents are in Texas until April, but my grandmother may have something to say about it when she’s back. My husband’s family isn’t really that excited about the baby, my husband has a 4 eyar old from a previous relationship, and his parents are raising his sister’s baby. His mom threw his sister’s baby shower, but I know she isn’t planning anything for me. She didn’t help at all with the wedding, because I didn’t choose the sister to be a bridesmaid. One of my friends had a baby last year, and her cousin threw hers. So I’m sure she is thinking my family would be throwing mine as well. The rest of my close friends are planning their weddings for this summer/fall so I really didn’t expect them to try and take on planning a baby shower for me as well.
Post # 11
Where I live showers are held closer to the due date, or even after baby is home. You are still 3 months out. I would get the basics- you really don’t need most baby gear in the early days- and wait and see what happens.
Post # 12
This is good advice. I didn’t use most of the gifts I received until later, and some things I never used like adorable size NB clothes that she outgrew in 2 weeks and just passed them onto other new moms.
I think essential gear would be a car seat, bassinet, baby-wearing device, onesies, footed pajamas, swaddles, diapers, baby wipes, and diaper ointment. Am I missing anything?
Post # 13
i’m sad for you, where do you live? i would throw you one, lol. why don’t you set up a registry if only for your own shopping list. you could also start buying stuff but keep all receipts and return if you end up actually having a shower. if you are close to your stepmother you should talk to her. tell her that you don’t think you’re having a shower so you are starting to look into buying stuff etc. she may take the hint and end up planning you one, which i think everyone shoud get to have at least once!
Post # 14
I think it’s probably safe to assume at this point if no one has brough it up that no one is planning on throwing one. I can definitely understand that would be dissapointing, but to give you a different perspective….even though they are for two completely unrelated events it probably feels gift grabby to some people. Now I’m not in any way saying that’s your intention, and of course I think babies should be celebrated. I’m just assuming that you likely had a bridal shower – so between that and your wedding people just gifted you items and now having a baby shower is asking them to turn around and buy you more stuff.
Post # 15
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
In our families both bridal showers and baby showers are surprises.