Post # 1
Soooooooooooo, it’s true… My fiance and I have family flying in from states we have never visited… They are flying in to see family, watch us get married, and hopefully have a good time… This is what I want in having a wedding, for my family and my fiance’s family to be able to meet, mingle and have a good time… What other time would our families come together like this?
The problem lies within my family… My mom, sister, dad and step mom to be exact… My mom and sister have a no-contact order. They are NOT allowed to be in physical presence of eachother, and my dad and step mom dislike my mom with a passion. I don’t have that great of a relationship with her and still want her there.
We want to elope and have my mom, dad, his mom, his dad, and my favorite aunt and uncle there to watch us get married. But since we have all the set up paid and ready for our wedding I want to have a traditional ceremony…
If you were a guest, how would you react to finding out the couple you were coming to see get married, already got married!???
I want the wedding pictures that come with a wedding, but drama with my family about my mother being at the wedding is SO overwelhming…
One problem that is really pushing this is that my mom really reacted negatively when I told her that I can not choose between her and my sister… My sister being the Maid/Matron of Honor planned the shower and I don’t want to uninvite anyone. I have tried to make wedding planning special for my mom but she wants all or nothing…
If you have any advice, my ears and heart are open! (This is really the short version, it’s turned into a choose mom or sister and if I choose mom over sister then dad won’t walk me down the aisle. 🙁 ) Well he said thats a thought he had, not that he wouldn’t for sure…
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017
@youngORbride: If I’m totally honest I don’t see how eloping solves anything especially since everything is already planned and you want the classic wedding photos. The stress and family drama isn’t solved by eloping and on top of that your family will most likely be upset if it was changed into a reception as opposed to a ceremony-including ceremony last minute.
I don’t know your family or to whom you are closest, but I think your mum and dad (and step mum) should be able to pull it together for your Big Day. Any reasonable human being can put aside their differences for one day- after all, you are equally their daughter.
‘I don’t have that great of a relationship with her and still want her there.’
If you don’t have a great relationship with your sister, because of the order, I’d say uninvite her. I know it’s harsh and I don’t know the back story, but that sounds like the simplest solution and it sounds like you’d like your mum there more than your sister since you want to elope with your mum present.
if I choose mom over sister then dad won’t walk me down the aisle. 🙁
I’m sorry your dad said that. I’m hoping it’s an empty threat. Your dad should pull it together for you.
Post # 4
I have a friend who married internationally. She had her wedding ceremony in Scotland and a reception in Maryland for the friends and family that couldn’t make the trip over seas. Personally I was just happy to celebrate with her and her new husband.
There were pics of her in the wedding dress and the location was absolutely stunning, we got the whole day to catch up and explore – it was really quite an awesome experience. Never crossed my mind to be upset that I missed the wedding ceremony.
Post # 5
If I was local I wouldn’t care, but if I flew in for your wedding only to find out you already got married I’d be pissed!
Post # 6
I voted that as a guest, I would still look forward to celebrating with you at the reception if you eloped.
However, I don’t know if your elopment plan will solve your problem. Your sister won’t be able to attand and your dad (assuming his threat is real) won’t walk you down the aisle. And since your mom wants all or nothing, will she even be happy with this solution?
Sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like your family is being really unreasonable.
Post # 7
@snd485: you hit the nail on the head with your response about my mom… She won’t be happy because she won’t get to be apart of the big shmancy wedding we pretty place planned… But to me, I feel like its been tainted
but I’ll be able to have my parents there… On my terms and I know it will be about me and my fiancé getting married, I think because of that I’ll feel better…
Post # 8
We decided to post pone the wedding. my fiancé and I will most likely get married privately on June 30th go on our honeymoon. Then have a family celebration/ceremony/reception at the end of this year or next summer… It’s a shame that my dad and sister didn’t change their minds after I told them we chose to post pone… Our lives will go on and we will be happily married soon!!!