Post # 1
I am the mother of the brides. Recently, my nephew got engaged and is planning on a September wedding in 2013. My youngest daughter got engaged this past April, and is planning on an October 2013 destination wedding, no official date set it is a small family only wedding. We are going to the destination looking for venues this week, so they can hopefully set the date and venue in the next few days? After their destination wedding next year they will come back and have a reception here at home in November. My oldest daughter just got engaged a couple of weeks ago and has always wanted an October wedding. She really wants October 4 2013, a year to the date from her engagement. My oldest daughter is heart sick about her sister wanting the same month as her, and the younger feels like her sister should wait and choose her date after the youngest ones date, I want them both to be happy. The groom of the oldest daughter has much older parents and not in great health, he doesn’t want to wait past next year because of his parents…is it poor etiquette for my oldest to get married ahead of her sister? They have not officially talked about it,my oldest is waiting on our trip to check out venues… Any suggestions?
Post # 3
Gte them all in the same room & speak honestly about what the problems are if they were both of get married in the same season. Upstaging one another? Guests not being able to attend both? etc… this shoudl hopefully smooth things out if the reasons above are brought up. Good luck!!
Post # 4
I think it’s the daughters who should be discussing, comprimising and coming up with solutions because it’s their weddings. If you can, try to step back and let them figure something out but encourage them to meet and talk about this so they can figure something they both can live with.
Or have a megawedding! Haha, just kidding, but this is actually real…
Post # 5
I know I’m likely to get flack for this, but your younger daughter has dibs on her date first. This is just my opinion.
It sucks that the older only just got engaged and that her FIs parents are elderly however, that being said it’s not fair of her to come in and blow the plans your younger daughter has been making out of the water. I truly hope this isn’t one of those cases of petty rivalry. Nor is it a feeling of entitlement to marry first just because she’s older. She may be heartsick about her younger sister wanting an October wedding, but she already has it, just not the concrete date (as is often the case with destination weddings).
Your youngest has been planning for the better part of a year and a Destination wedding is a big deal with huge financial obligations. The guests attending, in which likely a number will overlap your older daughters guest list, if only able to budget for one wedding will likely pick the closer and less expensive option. Completely unfair for the bride who’s been planning the longest and was also sensitive enough to give her guests the time to do so as well.
That being said, I can also relate to your eldest. My Fiance and I had our hearts set on two years to the date from our engagement. As luck would have it however, this date does not look like it will be compatible with flight schedules for our guests (we are Destination Wedding it too) so we’ve bumped it to 2 years + 2 days. The hardest thing for us was giving that date up but once we did we realised that we’re getting married. That day should and CAN be special on it’s own. In fact we were seriously considering changing the date to August so we had exactly half a year between our Engagement and wedding anniversarys. That gives you twice the reasons to celebrate your love each year! That would mean a May wedding for your eldest, which is a lovely month and if the FIs parents health is fading that much, might be a better option. It’s also provides that buffer between the two weddings.