Post # 1
When do you personally think is the ideal time to have another kid? I’m still pregnant with my first so this is totally hypothetical but I was talking to a friend who has a toddler and a 4 month old and she says it’s hell because they’re both on totally different sleep schedules. It got me thinking about whether it’s better to have them close together so you have 2 babies, then 2 toddlers, etc. or a couple of years apart, or maybe more like 4 or 5 years so that you can focus on each one more individually. I know for most people it depends on time, money, their careers, etc. but if it didn’t what do you think? also, how old was your kid/s when you had your 2nd/3rd/4th/etc. and would you have spaced it differently in hindsight?
Post # 2
violetrosa : My son had just turned 4 when my daughter was born. It worked for me because I only had one in diapers at a time, he was more independent-didn’t need so much of my attention, was old enough for play dates with friends so there was no sibling rivalry, and he was actually able to help by running for diapers etc.
Post # 3
Mine are spaced three years apart and honestly I couldn’t imagine having had them any closer. My sister has two kids and they were born 8 years apart and she loves the gap. But I also have a lot of friends with kids close together and they agree that it’s tough for a while but then it’s awesome because the kids can interact and entertain each other and it’s convenient having kids that are going through the same stages close together or at the same time. I think there are pros and cons to each and as a mom you’ll make whatever work, work. I personally would not choose to have kids back to back or super close together. I think the three year span is pretty ideal for me personally.
Post # 4
violetrosa : I have 3 kids spaced 2 1/2 years apart each, and I wouldn’t change it. I like how they’re fairly close in age now they’re older. I got the whole “baby / toddler” stage out of the way in one block. (Roughly 10 years from birth of #1, to #3 starting school). But it’s not TOO close, my body had time to recover between pregnancies, and I never had two in nappies (diapers) at the same time.
Post # 5
Mine are 2 years and 11 months apart, we knew we wanted them to be around 3 years apart and it just happened to work out perfectly!
Post # 6
My son will be approx 21 mos when new babe arrives. Nervous!
Post # 7
Mine are 20 months apart. Always planned a bigger gap but we got excited and had them closer together. My youngest is an easy baby, if she was harder it could have been really difficult. My eldest was so young too she didn’t appreciate it as much. Now she is just 3 she would love a baby brother or sister so I’d have a three year gap if I were to have my time again!
Post # 8
Mine are 2 years apart. They are 1.5 and 3.5 now. I have been plenty happy with the age difference. They are close enough to play well together (for the most part). A lot of toys and interests also overlap a bit as well. Obviously, the older one does have more advanced needs and interests, but I find it easy to balance. Its just about having the awareness.
As far as being able to focus on each one, it’s a matter of juggling things sometimes, and other times it works out. The best thing for my youngest has been that now that the older one is in preschool all day twice a week, we get to do one on one time all day! It’s nice for me to be able to just focus on her. Although, that challenge comes for everyone having more than one LO.
Darling Husband and I also each grew up about 2 years apart from our own siblings, and we both agreed that we wanted to mimick our own upbringing, because it worked for our families.
We were TTC when our oldest turned one, for planning references.
Post # 9
My boys are 2 years apart which was harder than I expected for the first few years. It was tough having a needy newborn when my oldest was still so attached and still so much of a needy little cuddler too. I was constantly pulled in two directions and felt guilty. Thankfully my husband figured out how to pick up the slack and we managed. So happy my guys are best friends now.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017
Mine will be 2 years 1 month when her brother is born. I know it’ll be rough that they’re both in diapers and she’s a toddler but Dear Daughter is very independent and sleeps well at night and loves babies so I forsee it going well. She doesn’t tantrum either and communicates well so I’m hoping she’ll be an easy toddler. I wanted the 2-year gap so they’ll still be able to play together and be close, but that Dear Daughter can communicate what she wants and there’s less frustration there.
I’m planning on putting her in daycare 3x a week so I can have one-on-one baby time too. Lots of skin on skin and bondig and breastfeeding is important to me, and that’d be hard with my toddler around all the time.
Post # 11
We originally wanted ours about 2 years apart, but TTC our second was not an easy road, so they ended up being 3 years apart. It worked out perfectly, 3 years is a great gap. My daughter is so independent, she is happy to play/color while I nurse the baby. She’s also a great help andloves to get me diapers, get her brother a toy, find a spit up rag, etc.. Having my daughter potty trained made things so much easier since she can just go potty without needing my help.
Also, I feel like I got lots of quality time with my daughter which I wouldn’t have had if my son was born earlier. She was my little BFF for so long and I so appreciate that time now.
Post # 12
i don’t think, there is a right age gap. you do what works for you or whenever it happens. DS just turned 1 and I did an FET the other day. if this works, we will have 2 under 2 for a couple of months.
Post # 13
violetrosa : Mine are about 2 years 8mo apart. If anything, I could have gone to 3 years rather than closer together. IMO, unless the gap is about 3.5-4 years it is going to be hard (at least in the beginning) no matter what. I didn’t want them super close together because I wanted my body to myself for a bit longer and I also wanted more time to just enjoy my oldest (because once you have more than one you don’t really get as much time with either one). Her third year (2-3) was kind of a blur because I was pregnant (felt like crap/slept/didn’t have much energy) and then had the newborn I kept my oldest in daycare during my maternity leave and that was great to spent time with the baby. I do think having them 3-4 years apart means you get a little more time individually with them but there are positives to having them close togher for some people.
Post # 14
I have 3 daughters with a big age gap. They are 13.5, 5.5 and 7 weeks old. While it is a challenge (kids always are), it is really great to have one who is really independent, and one who is able to toilet and dress herself while I’m tending to the baby. I know that many people would not like a big age gap, but it’s going well.