Post # 1
hey y’all, so i have begun dating again since my ex and i split up, and i came to the realization that eventually i’m going to most likely get married again at some point (i’m fairly young). my first engagement ring was everything i wanted in a ring. literally my dream ring.
i know it’s gonna be a hot minute before i’m seriously worrying about this but i was just wondering what any 2nd time brides did? i had a little over 2ct round brilliant engagement ring in a relatively simple solitaire setting with micropave band. i kept the ring after the split and i plan on eventually resetting it into a YG antique inspired setting to wear as a rhr (long story short i paid for a portion of it, it’s not the original diamond we were married with, so i don’t feel bad keeping it or resetting it to wear as rhr, i would eventually like it to become a heirloom piece)
with all that in mind, i don’t want there to be an expectation that my next one would have to “compete” in size with my old e ring, but i wouldn’t want something MUCH smaller. would a similar ct size but different shape work? in an ideal world i could get a slightly larger RB but i feel like that would “compete.”
since i paid for it, would it be weird to just say, “we can just use this diamond i have in a diff setting,” cause really i wouldn’t mind, but i feel like unless it’s a heirloom that’s weird if it was from a previous marriage. is there any specific protocol about things like this? or taboos?
Post # 2
I am surprised that you didn’t return the ring. Most women do. The law is on the side of the future groom. He didn’t want it back, even if you paid for it?
Post # 3
My friend did this. Used her diamond from an old engagement ring in a new setting with a new guy. I thought it was extremely tacky. Idk I would sell it and use it to buy something new.
Post # 5
I think that only applies to engaged couples, OP said she was married to her ex.
I don’t think you have to worry about a new ring competing with your previous engagement ring, it’s possible you’ll be the only one who will even remember what your old ring looks like by the time you are engaged again so it really only matters what you would be happy with.
Post # 6
I’m practical. I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m also skeptical that “most women” return their engagement rings after a divorce.
Post # 7
I think you should keep the one you loved, otherwise nothing will measure up and you’ll always feel disappointed. Maybe ask for something completely different as an “engagement present”- a necklace or a gemstone RHR. No one will notice/care that it’s the same except the two of you, so it’s really only his feelings about it that matter.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA
I think you would do better if you focused more on the quality aspect of your relationship than on the size and look of your next ring. Clearly a dream ring doesn’t guarantee a dream marriage, as you well found out yourself.
Post # 9
I had the same issue!!! I am extremely picky when it comes to wearing something for the rest of my life. So I had searched high and low for just the right ring!!! So when it came time for a second one, it was a tough time finding one I loved like the other. It didn’t have to beat the other, but I also didn’t want to settle on something that just worked.
Long story short, I found one I loved. BUT, I came back down to reality & realized that it’s dumb to pay thousands of dollars for an overpriced diamond. (No offense to anyone, that’s just my own personal opinion ). And all I really wanted was to be with my man. Who is everything I’m looking for. And nothing like my ex. So I ended up finding an $80 CZ ring that I love. Because I’d rather use that money on a great honeymoon, or buying a house together.
Moral of the story is that it’s a journey that is unique to everyone. As for the old stone, that would definitely save money. But make sure it’s ok with your new man, first.
Post # 10
woooweeeee snarky! i’m sure the quality of a relationship is implied with engagement. i don’t even have a serious relationship at the moment, i have just begun dating again, as i have stated above. it was just a question that popped into my head, and as my parents were first generation immigrants, i am not familiar with the customs and taboos of engagements and weddings, etc. my first marriage was an elopement. it was just a curious “how have other people dealt with this situation,” question. not sure why there’s any need to be vicious about it!
Post # 11
interesting idea! i’ve never thought about that!!
Post # 12
interesting idea!!! now that i think about it, i have loved looking at moissanites on here. maybe going that route the second time would get the size sparkle i like and i wouldn’t be asking to fork over thousands for exactly what i wanted. love it! thanks chicky!
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE
I think this is going to depend on what your eventual next fiance thinks about the subject. I know plenty of guys who would be jazzed to not have to spend a ton if you already have a stone you want to use.
Otherwise, the plain fact is that your taste may change by the next time you get engaged, so it may end up being a moot point anyways if you end up liking something different.
If it were me I would reset the stone/s from your original e-ring and have your fiance get something new when the time comes. That way it will be unique and special to that relationship.
For the record, I was engaged previously (in high school, but still) and my tastes changed drastically. My ering now (emerald cut halo in rose gold) is very different than my ering from my first engagement (heart shape bezel in yellow). Even if ends up being the same style for you, it will be different because it’s new! I don’t believe in taboo about things like this, as long as you and your Fiance are on the same page, who cares?
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA
oh, I didn’t mean to be snarky! Sorry if I sounded like it. I find it very hard to convey tone, as English is not my first language.
What I meant is that a ring is nothing but a symbol of commitment, and its size shouldn’t be one’s concern, especially after they found a happy, fulfilling relationship, which is more precious than any ring. 🙂
I apologize for sounding mean.
I truly hope you and your future fiancé find the perfect solution.
Post # 15
I have no problem with it but I agree that it’s largely dependent on what your future Fiance is comfortable with. otherwise damn nice RHR