(Closed) 2nd time bride…1st for SO

posted 8 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You can do whatever you want! You want a big dress? Wear it!

This is my 2nd wedding (first time I was 18), 1st for fiance, and we’re doing it just like we would if it were the 1st for both of us.

I don’t know your parents, but they may surprise you. My parents are helping out this time around too. But I’d say start planning like it’s just you and your fiance paying for it. One of the recent bridal magazines had several examples of beautiful $5,000 weddings, so it can be done!

Post # 5
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I just looked through my stack of magazines:

$5,000 weddings – “Bridal Guide” July/August 2010 issue

$10,000 weddings – “Brides” June 2010 issue

Post # 7
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@joeysgal:  At this point, a second wedding can be anything you want it to be–from church full of people, big ol’white dress and veil, etc. down to just the two of you stopping in at the JOP.  The real issue is what works for the two of you.  If he is the one for whom the wedding is the more important, it makes sense for him to take the lead on it.  However, the two of you really need to talk about what each of you wants.  You say he does not want a destination wedding, but what is important to him?  The white dress?  Dancing?  Open bar? Having 200 guests? Focus on those things that are important to one or both of you, and skip the rest.

Post # 9
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Sounds good to me!  I was in a similar situation:  It was my second wedding, but my wife’s first.  I wanted it to be a Jewish ceremony.  (I’m Jewish, but she is not.)  But on most other aspects of the wedding, I basically said that she could do what she wanted.  We ended up with a wedding both of us loved.

Post # 10
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee

I was in the same boat you are.  Fiance and I were pretty set on a Destination Wedding.  His family was really upset.  They want to be there to see their baby brother get married.  (He’s the baby of 6, he’s 33)

SO – we’re having the full blown wedding.  My dress is a light gold, but only because that’s what I wanted.  We’re paying and doing things EXACTLY the way we want.  The planning has actually been really fun for both of us.  Because he’s so involved, he sees all of the elements that go into it and he’s very helpful.  I’m having a blast because I was so young the first time, i just did what i thought I was supposed to.  Now I’m getting to do all the off-beat, fun stuff I wished I had done before.  AND I get the amazing guy too!  🙂

It can be done and your wedding will be wonderful. 

Post # 12
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@joeysgal: I was a 2nd time bride as well. I didn’t want a big wedding (I was all about eloping or going to the court house), but his family did. I absolutely refused to have a giant, formal (taffeta, tulle and glitter infested) wedding so I compromised for a small, intimate ceremony at their cabin. It was outdoors and very laid back with about 75-80 guests. It was beautiful. I did wear a dress, but no veil. We had one attendant each. I didn’t use the “wedding march”, but rather music from the PS I Love You soundtrack. I was worried about what people would think about me having a second wedding, but instead I had so many compliments about how nice and relaxed and FUN the wedding was (we took everyone canoeing the next day). So I say, good luck and don’t worry about what others might think. Your wedding is about you and your husband.

Post # 13
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

I’m a second-timer, too.  His 1st.  My first wedding literally cost $50.  Marriage license and the cheapest cake the grocery store had.

 

I’m doing it right this time because it will be the last time.

Post # 14
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee

@joeysgal – I ordered my dress from Aria.  It’s the 1st one, style 185.  You can see the color HERE  (it’s #88 -Angora) and HERE (It’s the color of those Bridesmaid or Best Man Dresses).

My sash is an ivory color and is being made from my mom’s wedding dress.  🙂

Post # 16
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Do what makes you happy.  I was first married in 2004 and had the whole wedding thing where my parents paid upwards of $10K for the wedding.

Now, Fiance and I are planning our wedding and proud to do it ourselves.  Are families are so stinking happy for us that they are helping where they can.

His parents will do the rehearsal dinner and mine are doing my dress and flowers.  The rest is all us.

It feels good to do it this way.  We came up with a budget we are happy with and are really making this our own way.

Good luck!

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