(Closed) 2nd wedding – desperately need advice!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
4376 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I got married 8 months ago, second wedding for me, first for him. Something I definitely took for granted for a while was that maybe he might have a vision for how he wanted his wedding to be. I think we can assume that men just don’t have that, then it turns out that they do! So I think you need to listen to his wants and factor that into the plan! I just wanted to go to Vegas and get married by Darth Vader lol. But it was super important to him to have a wedding with his family there. So we compromised by having a pretty intimate event, only immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents) and a few close friends. It ended up being 65ish people. We did our ceremony in a beautiful spot, followed by dinner and socializing. No dancing, no wedding shenanigans, no cake cutting. Just the opportunity to share some food and some time with the people most important to us. There is compromise to be found, you just have to talk it out. 

Post # 3
Member
3070 posts
Sugar bee

You guys need to come to a compromise. A lot of people don’t realize what a wedding costs, exactly. Why don’t you tell him you’re willing to explore his option? Then take him to some venues, get prices, talk to caterers and break down the cost, make sure all linens/silverware, etc. are added to the price. Get rough costs of your dress and his suit/tux/whatever. Sit down with him and break down the budget, what you spend monthly in living expenses, and your incomes. Now what does he think about a big wedding?

Maybe once he realizes how much this is and that you guys can’t afford it with your house purchase, he’ll start shifting his focus. Maybe it means you guys scale back the wedding and have a smaller one.

Post # 4
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
desertgypsy :  Agree. I’m clearly very into this wedding thing, but had many “uh, maybe we should elope?” moments very early on. Was really surprised when Fiance said he wanted to have a full on wedding O.O

Post # 6
Member
3070 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
Queenstown26 :  Yeah, I don’t think he understands just yet. You’ve been through it before, so you know how out of control the budget can get. He hasn’t. Give him a realistic picture of what it will do to your finances. Is it worth it to him? If he still wants to go forward with a big wedding, ultimately somehow you’ll both have to compromise. That’s what marriage is all about anyway!!!

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