Post # 1
@2PeasinaPod and @mwitter80
I just wanted to check in and see how you are both doing. I hope you are both hanging in there.
I was overwhelmed with sadness the first 2 days after we got our news (baby still has a heartbeat, but growing way too slowly and is more behind every appointment, so the doc says a miscarriage is inevitable at this point). I spent the first two days on the couch, crying. I am better now- a little less sad- and disconnecting from the pregnancy. The hard part is the waiting game, until I go back into the doc in a week, at which point she said we’d have to make a choice about natural vs D&C.
Anyway, since I’m going through lots of ups & downs, I just thought I’d write to see how you are both doing. I’m thinking about you both and sending you strong thoughts!!
Post # 3
This is very thoughtful but I think you should PM them instead of opening a discussion on the public board.
Post # 4
@KristenGotMarried: Thanks for your concern. But they have both posted about what they are going through publicly on this board. And I made sure that my post only mentioned what is going on with me– they can discuss as many or as few details about themselves that they would like.
This is the first time I have had to experience anything like this, but I do know that I don’t want to AVOID talking about it, because the more women avoid discussing miscarriage, the more other women feel like they are alone when it happens to them. I felt very alone when I first learned of my news last week, but the women on this board left me some great comments and messages offering their support and letting me know that many of them went through something similar. It made me feel less alone. To me, I am learning (the hard way, unfortunately) that miscarriage doesn’t have to be kept behind closed doors, and it’s ok to open up about it.
I’m just trying to support them and let them know I am thinking about them.
If they don’t want to discuss it, they can either PM me back or not respond at all.
Post # 5
I’m sorry about your news (also for 2peas and mwitter), hopefully you find comfort in your husband, friends, family and even the hive. Best of luck next time and I hope the healing – emotional and physical- comes quickly!
* I like that you made it public- others can offer support or join in if they wish.
Post # 6
@KristenGettingMarried: To be honest, this is what the babies board is for. There are many bees going through things whether it’s miscarriages or infertility that are very difficult and they receive more support here than anywhere else. Please be fair, everyone has a right to post what they wish. Don’t agree with it, don’t respond.
@SadSecret: I am so sorry for everything you are going through. There is no right or wrong way to feel, so take it 1 day at a time and let yourself grieve. I hope the other Bees are doing ok as well, been thinking of them.
Post # 7
@SadSecret: Agreed. The baby boards are very open which is good! I’m sure they will appreciate ppl caring.
Post # 8
I think it’s extremely nice and thoughtful of you to post concern for others who are experiencing the same as you….I recently went through the same and found so much support from everyone on here and I am very thankful for that and that we can all be open and honest with each other….I hope you are doing ok as well SadSecret
Post # 9
I’m sorry for your loss OP, it’s nice of you to keep other bees in mind.
Post # 10
@mrsreid: * I like that you made it public- others can offer support or join in if they wish.
I agree. Someone may have suffered a loss and may want to talk to someone.
Post # 11
I would also like to join in and give my support to you OP, mwitter, and 2peas. I can’t imagine what you ladies are going through, and you are all in my thoughts.
Post # 12
I have only read the post from @2PeasinaPod, I am glad you wrote the post. I have been checking to see how she has been doing. Also very sorry to hear about yourself..
Post # 13
I hope you are all getting through this difficult time. I went through a natural miscarriage a little over 3 weeks ago. Like @Sadsecret, I cried basically for three days straight, then it got better. Now I feel much better even though I have moments of real sadness.
Yesterday I had a follow up with my doc. Everything looks completely fine and I was cleared to start trying again after I have a period (which I should get within the week). Since the miscarriage happened early on (6 wks) we decided to start trying again right away. Wish us luck!
Post # 14
@SadSecret: Thank you for asking. I obviously know how tough this can be and talking about it and feeling supported and not alone can make you feel so much better. I know that this community is aiding me in my healing process and I appreciate it so much. If you need anything whatever it is, please don’t hesitate to ask and lean on us for support.
@KristenGotMarried: Thank you for worrying about us as well. However, when I made my news public, it was for situations like this, where I knew I wouldn’t be alone and hopefully a bee going through the same thing in the future would remember that lots of us are going through the same thing. I’m sure 2Peas feels the same way.
@winniewolf: did you check with your doc about starting so soon. The lining of your uterus is very thin after having a miscarriage/birth and normally is too thin to carry a pregnancy and would result in another miscarriage. Most doc’s recommend a 2-3 month waiting period prior to trying again (same as when going off of birth control). I would consult with your doc as you don’t want to keep putting yourself through the trauma.
Now how do I feel? I am in the acceptance stage. I’m bad at grieving any loss and tend to struggle for a long time. This miscarriage however, seems to be going smoother (as smooth as it can) and I am done blaming myself. I know that I can’t control these things, but never the less it still stinks.
I have some good news too though. I went through a ton of testing, as my obgyn just wanted to make sure that this wouldn’t continue to happen to me, and all of my tests came back normal. She just thinks I am one of those cases where it unfortunatley happens to the same person a couple times in a row. So that’s good news and a bit of encouragement to not give up trying to have a family.
Post # 15
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but thank you for being open about it as well. It’s our job as women who are going through this/went through this to be vocal so women don’t feel alone. You are not alone. We’re here for you.
Post # 16
I just wanted to say that I am so sorry to all the women who are going through this…sending warm and caring thoughts your way…