Post # 1
My future brother in law just got pregnant and thier baby will be 3-4 months old when we get married next year. Also 2 other cousins in his family wil be having children around that same age. It is a 7 pm ceremony, in a really nice venue, its a pretty formal wedding and I don’t know how to feel about potentially having all these newborns at the wedding.
To top it off my SIL is a horrid woman and hates me, so I’m very nervous that she will use the baby to ruin the ceremony somehow. How should I handle this? Should there be a no-kid policy and if so what do I do about the kids in the wedding party and thier sibilings? Should I ask the ladies with babies to leave if they start crying? (Don’t think she would unless we made it clear)
Post # 3
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
The general ettiquette is that even at a no-kids wedding, you would allow nursing infants because they truly cannot be away from their moms for more than a couple hours, plus even if they are bottle-feeding some people are not comfortable leaving a kid that young with a babysitter. (Don’t get me started on that, do they really mean to sign away 2 years + of their social lives? anyway…..) On the plus side, babies that young usually eat, sleep, and shit, so they’re much less likely to disrupt things than older kids. I would recommend letting your SIL and any other parents of infants that you’re reserving seats in the back for them so they can make a quick exit if the babies start crying. Put some flowers or a sign or something on the chairs…. it’ll make it like they’re special not like hey get your effing kid out fast if it is disruptive. 🙂
Re wedding party kids it’s acceptable to have just them at the reception. Alternately you could ask them to leave after the ceremony but bear in mind that a parent, grandparent, etc would have to take them somewhere and stay with them, or babysitting will have to be arranged, etc etc. But you can have ring bearer and flower girls only, that’s normal.
FWIW we’re having absolutely no kids, period, full stop, no exceptions. Although we don’t have infants to worry about thankfully.
Post # 4
@soontobeMrsBoo: That’s a great idea with the special seats towards the back! I was wondering how to handle something like this as well. We might have guests with a two month old traveling from Pennsylvania to Florida for our wedding (Honestly hoping they’ll realize it’s too stressful and decline!)
Sorry you’re going through the same thing OP! Maybe you’ll luck out and the newborn will sleep the whole time? I’m having a 7 pm ceremony too and I’m hoping for the same results if we have a newborn attending.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t worry too much about a baby that little. They tend to still be big eaters and sleepers at that point. Hopefully the Moms would take them out if they started to fuss.
I’d be more leery of older children…we included them at our wedding, but at one family member’s wedding, her ring bearer really disrupted the ceremony when he kept tapping his feet on the wooden altar floor.
Post # 6
@tnbellebee: I agree. Let the 4 month old(s) come. 4 month olds don’t run or crawl around, they are much less trouble than older kids.
If it’s a formal venue, don’t allow older kids, and send home the flower girl(s) / ring bearer(s) after the ceremony. Kids don’t become better behaved just because they’re wearing a Flower Girl dress or tux. And if you invite the FG/RBs to the reception you’ve really got to invite their siblings too. When my 3 year old was a Flower Girl she was not invited to the reception, my mother took her home after the photos.
I’d have a word to each of the mothers about keeping the baby quiet or taking him/her out. If you don’t get on with your SIL, perhaps you’ll get a better result if your fiance talks to his brother about it?
Post # 7
Thank you, you all had wonderful suggestions!
I will definitely give them a seat at the back and have my fiance talk to her. We have a shuttle running most of the evening from the venue to local hotels, so I will probably talk to the parents with older kids and see what they want to do, they know thier children best.
Good Luck to everyone else dealing with similar problems!
Post # 8
Rule of thumb is nursing babies are ok.
Both my Maid/Matron of Honor and my Future Sister-In-Law (BM) will have nuring babies for our wedding and they’ll be there for most of the time. That said, my Maid/Matron of Honor has her Mother-In-Law (not invited to the wedding) staying at the hotel (same location as the reception) for stand-by baby duty.