- 3 years ago
I’m not one to write posts, in fact this is my 1st time… But I’m torn about this situation and hopefully can get some good advice on here. I’ve had 3 Bridesmaid or Best Man drop out of my wedding, and they happen to be my sisters. The reason you ask? Over the color of the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, so ridiculous!
A little back story – I have 7 bridesmaids (4 sisters & 3 close friends) and I wanted to keep it simple for them. I didn’t want them to break the bank over a dress they prob won’t wear again, trust me, we’ve all be there! So I decided to just pick a color (I want soft romantic pink colors) and have them purchase their own dress. I realized the dress colors would most likely be off a shade or 2 since they were all buying from different places, and I was totally fine with that. I’m not into the overly matchy matchy theme anyways. I didn’t even care what length it was, so I had them vote long or short and the majority won. I didn’t care what shoes or jewelry they wore, and they could do their makeup & hair however they wanted. I feel I was as accommodating as possible.
So I gave them the color, the length, and said “go find your dress!” However, sister #1 didn’t like the color of the dress I picked out, which was a light pink/blush color. She kept saying how it would wash me out and it looked like a blah blank canvas… Then sister #2 chimed in that it’s really not up to me, they are the ones buying/wearing the dress. Oh and that “it’s not all about me.” It became obvious they were more concerned with how it looked on them, but they kept saying they were looking out for my best interest. Well, if I’m saying I like that look, then just go with it – if you’re so concerned about me. The other bridesmaids had no issues, they said it’s your wedding, whatever you want. My sisters response to that was they are just telling me what I want to hear and they prob really don’t like the dress either…
Ok, fine. So I then picked out a different color Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, one that was darker and was a peachy/pink color. Sent pics of the color to everyone, reiterated the length and again said “happy dress hunting!” The 2 sisters weren’t thrilled with the color but were OK with it. Just to be clear, they wanted a color that would make them “pop”, more of a bright coral color – which is the complete opposite of the soft romantic theme I’m going for.
Well 2 months later, sister #3 sends me a pic of a bright coral dress asking if it’s ok? I said no, it’s way too bright and resent her the pics of the dress color that I had sent out 2 months ago, reiterating that I’m going for a soft romantic theme – not a bright tropical colored one. Next thing I know sister #2 is calling me saying that dress color is hideous and again proceed to tell me that it’s going to wash everyone out. She told me it’s not going to look like what I think it will and I should google pics to see what it looks like. I’m sitting there thinking “well no shit, how do you think I came up with the color to begin with?! I happen to like the dang color!” She went on to say how there’s no way in hell she’d wear that color dress and have pictures taken of her in that dress color. That she’s not going to spend money on a dress color she hates. That’s it’s not up to me, it’s not all about me… I’m like “it kinda is, it’s my wedding, not yours!” I reminded her of the 4 sister weddings that I was in, that they got to pick out the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress color they wanted and I didn’t say a word. And l hated those dresses btw, but I shut my mouth and wore them anyways bc I knew it was their day. She continued to say how she was shocked at my horrible taste and that she won’t be at the alter with me if she has to wear that color dress.
Keep in mind, I’ve already changed the dress color once to accommodate them. So I told her I was sorry she felt that way, that I was very hurt by her decision, but that I was not going to change my dress color again. I told her she’s my sister and should be supportive. That she should put her pride to the side for one day and stand next to her sister on her wedding day. We didn’t resolve anything, and she was out of the wedding…
The next day sister #1 calls me, defending sister #2. The conversation immediately started with her in attack mode. There was no tell me what happened or tell me your side, it was immediate she’s defending sister #2. Well, that led to her dropping out of the wedding too. Over something that had nothing to do with her, she decided to drop out. Oh, and she called me a bridezilla! No idea how the heck I’m a bridezilla, I’ve been super lenient on everything! All I said was a color and a length, they can pick out the dress, shoes, makeup, hair style, etc.
The next day, my one Bridesmaid or Best Man that’s a very close friend takes it upon herself to text sister #2 saying that she should stop trying to control my wedding and be more supportive. That it’s my wedding and if I wanted her to wear a mumu, she should do it. There was no cursing, no name calling. I didn’t find it offensive at all. Did she stir the pot, yes, but she wasn’t offensive or rude. Next thing I know sister #3 texts me saying that she heard what my Bridesmaid or Best Man wrote to sister #2 and found it very disrespectful and offensive and that she no longer wants to be a part of the wedding. She wanted me to do something about it, but we’re all adults and I can’t control what other people say or do. If she said something really bad or name calling, then of course I’d step in and say something. But honestly, she didn’t tell sister #2 anything that I hadn’t said already. I agree with what she said. However, I did tell that Bridesmaid or Best Man that she shouldn’t have said anything, it just started drama… But yet again, another Bridesmaid or Best Man drops out over something that had absolutely nothing to do with her.
They kept calling/texting me, not to talk but to argue, so I blocked them from my phone. I had a lot going on at the point in time and was getting way too stressed out reading their angry texts. I recently unblocked them, and sister #1 and sister #2 both texted over Christmas, but I ignored it. I’m still super hurt and mad about their behavior, I’m not ready to talk to them. And honestly, what is there to talk about? One dropped out over a dress color and the other 2 followed. They are being extremely selfish. They want me to compromise, again, but I’m not. They didn’t on their day.
Plus, I overheard my dad talking to them the other day on the phone and they are still pissy. He kept saying “the hostile approach isn’t the best idea” to them on the phone… So obviously they just want to yell at me some more… No thanks!
I’m beyond hurt/pissed about the whole thing and really don’t want to even invite them to the wedding any longer. However, other family members are saying I should still invite them – What should I do? I have no desire to talk to them and if the wedding happens to the be 1st time we talk I know there will be drama. And if I talk to them now, it’ll be drama, and I don’t have time for it! And I definitely don’t want drama on my wedding day!
Sorry it’s a long post, but I had to give the back story!