Post # 1
After my wedding (in 3 weeks), I’m thinking of hyphenating my maiden name with FI’s last name for social purposes (i.e. on Facebook and in a new email address) and keeping my maiden name everywhere else (passport, license, etc.). It seems like such a hassle (and expensive) to change my maiden name everywhere. Is this a good solution, or is there something I’m overlooking? (I don’t want to drop my maiden name, because it’s been part of my identity for 36 years. It’s also how I’m known professionally, and I do have some published writing samples online and interviews with my maiden name.)
I’m picking up my marriage license on Friday, and have three days to decide what to do.
Post # 3
Personally I am not changing my last name, primarily for professional reasons but also because we are not having kids and I happen to like my last name.
However, in my state, getting the marriage license has nothing to do with changing one’s name. That is typically done by starting with changing the name on the social security card, then the driver’s license, etc. And it doesn’t have to be done right away eiter!
You could use his last name socialy and never change the last name legally.
Post # 4
What does your FI think of this? I was sort of indifferent but it mattered a lot to FI so I’ll be changing to his name.
I’ve seen some brides add their maiden name as another middle name and take the last name of their hubby. An idea? But if your FI doesn’t care, then stick with what you got!
Post # 5
Will it be more of a hassle/confusing to have your last name one way on certain things and a different way on others? I understand that it would be uniform on all the official documents, but personally I would only want to be known as one way. I will be dropping my maiden name altogether (it is 12 letters, far too long to hyphenate) and I want to take my FI’s name as a symbol of the unification of our new family. Personal preference, but I’m all for uniformity (whether it is just your maiden name, hyphenated, etc.)
Post # 6
I am changing mine. I hate my maiden name (it’s hard to spell or pronounce) and I am doing this so people know I am married to FI when I give my name (I’m old fashioned). I actually bought a Groupon for an online name changing service for $15. You give them your information once and they fill in all your state’s forms and send them to you so you can just mail them in. I still have to pay a bit for our certificates, but that’s standard. If your maiden and/or new name are rather long, hyphenating might be a little much. How about dropping your middle name and replacing with your maiden? Or just adding the maiden as a second middle name?
I plan to use my first name, maiden name, new name for a little while with my work and personal life (like bills, insurance, etc.) just so everyone knows it’s still me until they get used to the new name.
Post # 7
@trueblue14: That’s what I’m leaning towards.
@MrsVandykins: My FI doesn’t care. 🙂 He’s easy-going about whatever I decide.
@agrinste1: Hmm…I don’t have a middle name, but my first name is seven letters and my maiden name is 6 letters. My FI’s last name is 6 letters, too! So, I would have a long first and last name if I hyphenated — a total of 19 letters to write out, everytime I have to fill out a form for first and last name. Ouch.
@GeorgiaBride5: What is the name of the name-changing service you used? The thought of having to do all the paperwork myself makes me groan.
Post # 8
I won’t be changing professionally but everything else will change.
Post # 9
Im hyphenating, thpugh on the llicense they left the hyphen off – so really I may end up with 2 names instead. I have kids who share my maiden name so ill keep mine & add his. He said it was my choice & he’d understand my decision… but he lit up when I told him I’d hyphenate. 🙂 everyone is unique so only you can decide what works best for you.
Post # 10
I kept my maiden name legally and professionally, use his socially. Sometimes it gets confusing but rarely. Your marriage license is always in your maiden name. The license has nothing to do with what name you use. You can change it legally whenever (if ever) you want to, just make sure your drivers license, passport, ss card, insurance, etc is in your legal name.
Post # 11
Post # 12
I originally thought about hyphenating, but apparently it can be a pain in the ass with all your legal documents. Plus my name is already long–9 letters, and his is 6.
But I don’t want to lose my last name entirely, as my family is all girls and no one will be able to carry the name on. I also want to have his name, because my mom kept her maiden name, and when I was a kid I always felt awkward saying “no it’s my mom, she kept her last name.” AND I really like how my current middle and last name flow together…
So I’ll just have 4 names…First, Middle, Maiden, New name
Post # 13
I’m not changing my name. I don’t feel like it makes sense for me at this stage in my life to take on a new name (I’m starting out in a career that is driven by name recognition) plus I don’t like the idea of losing my identity when I get married.
Also it seems like a pain in the butt to do.
Post # 14
@bombaysapphire_13: do what you are thinking Social vs legal
Post # 15
@bombaysapphire_13: your marriage license has your maiden name on it regardless. So does your marriage certificate. You have to bring that with you to the social security administration and tell them you want to change your name. Once it’s in their files your name is legally changed. You have plenty of time to decide.
Post # 16
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@bombaysapphire_13: I signed my marriage license with my maiden name as a middle name and adding DH’s name on the end…. then went to change things with Social Security and they told me my name is too long to be valid (wtf does that mean….)
Anyway the point is my marriage license says MEECS and I am only MEEC (kept my original name) and it’s not a problem so don’t think you have to figure things out NOW.
Also, FWIW my DH originally through a chovanistic fit that I wasn’t taking his name and FINALLY just the other day admitted that it doens’t make a difference or affect us and our marriage at all.