(Closed) 3 FSIL- Opinions??

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Honestly I would ask your fiance what he thinks.  They are his sisters so he should have a say on whether he really wants them in the bridal party.  Personally, I think family should come before friends.  I would have been devestated if I hadn’t been asked to be a bridesmaid in my brother’s wedding.  But.. since they are both parents now they may have different priorities.  Would it be possible to have their children as flower girls/ring bearers and include them that way?

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I think that’s a great plan.  I did the same thing with my Maid/Matron of Honor.  She has a little girl so I told her I totally understood if being my Maid/Matron of Honor or even a bridesmaid was too much on her plate right now but she was so honored and excited that she immediately accepted.  Ask them first, let them decide for themselves, and then go from there. 

Post # 6
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

@ellie rose – I think you’ve come up with a good solution.  Make it known you’d love to have them but in a ‘no pressure’ sort of way.  Maybe offer other things they could do like be readers or something if they’d rather not be BMs or think it would be too much time.  Maybe also talk to the little sis about it like we want family to feel included I just don’t want them to feel pressured if they’re busy with their families.  If they’re married with kids they just might want the reader route instead of the Bridesmaid or Best Man route.

Post # 7
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with what has already been said. But I’ll also add that you could consider having unbalanced sides if you want to add a few of your friends in too. For example, Fiance could have 6 on his side and you could have 8. Personally, I don’t mind the off balance look, though I know some people prefer to keep it even. Just a thought πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am sorry but I always thought that it was just the norm that the groom picks his own groomsmen and the bride picks her bridesmaids.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe in family first too in some cases BUT I think a bride picks the women she wants in her bridal party because she feels really close to them and wants to share with them the whole “wedding experience”.  I love my SIL too and she is awesome but I would not choose her over a lifelong friend who I feel a lot closer too and who I have shared more life experiences with.  But that’s just me I guess….just wanted to share my 2 cents =)

Post # 10
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I was in a similar situation (actually it was with my brother’s wife, not FI’s sister) and I did exactly what you have come up with here — I left it up to her. I just told her that we definitely wanted to include her in the wedding, but wanted to leave it up to her to decide whether to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man or to do a reading. She was happy to be included and chose to be a bridesmaid πŸ™‚ Overall I felt really good about how the whole thing went.

Good luck and happy planning!

Post # 14
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Literally I had the EXACT same situation. The only difference is the sister im closest with is not getting married this year! I originally only asked her because it is FIs twin and I am close to her. Then Future Mother-In-Law was really upset I didnt ask his other 2 sisters. THat meant 3 slots for me to have my closest friends. SO even though they might be saying to your face its okay I would just be careful! Here is something that Future Mother-In-Law said to me – friends come and go family is forever. Basically yes you have had those friends forever but now by having his sisters in your bridal party you are saying that you are a part of their family and it is a step towards the future not just a connection to the past.

Post # 16
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You are very welcome! Weddings are a beautiful thing but the thing is they can also get very dramatic and true feelings can come out. Better to avoid any drama from the start. If you have to exclude a BFF you can either explain to her the situation and give her another part in your wedding or you can just move your number up to 7.  That is what I did – I just added an additional spot and even though 7 felt llike a lot it was important to me!!

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