Post # 17
I think people should just get the ring that makes both parties happy and not focus on the dollar amount of the ring. If buying a $60k T&Co. ring makes the man happy and he wants to do it, then so be it. Conversely, if both parties want to spend $100, then so be it. I have no idea how much DH’s salary was and we only had a vague idea of a budget. It really boiled down if we both thought it was a good ring for the price. Offhand, I think DH was willing to spend at least 3 month’s worth (if not more) but it just didn’t come to that (though it was still a sizeable amount).
However, I do agree that any woman who thinks it MUST be 3 months salary isn’t thinking about it the right way. I mean, if the perfect ring came along and it was more of 2 month’s salary, that shouldn’t be a reason to go for another one just because it costs more.
Post # 18
I agree with other bees in that this is an outdated tradition. If SO spent 3 months salary on a ring I would be angry, that’s money that could have gone on the house or paying on a vehicle!
Post # 19
No way! I freaked out enough when my fiance spent a month’s salary on my ring, so I reckon I wouldn’t even dare to wear a ring that cost more than that (it took me a few months to start wearing my $3K ring on a regular basis!).
It may not sound nice, but I do judge people a bit for buying a big, expensive ring – especially if they’re walking around telling everyone how much it cost. It’s a symbol of your love – it could cost $10 or $10,000 and it would, essentially, still mean the same thing.
Post # 20
Of course, it all depends on individual cases, but it is this expectation what I don’t get. I have heard of women who are upset that their SO did not spend a lot on their ring, and that, I think, is the unreasonable part.
What some rings cost might be someone’s 3 months’ salary, but might be not even one of the person who bought it.
Post # 22
I am a very low maintenance person. I think spending one month salary on a ring is absolutely mindblowing.
My ring was not expensive, but not by my husband’s choice. His mother talked him out of the ring (to propose with) that he liked because his mother insisted I would hate it.
He picked a generic setting (Just a white gold band) and a diamond. He intended for me to pick a new setting, but truthfully, I can’t validate spending the money on it.
I don’t have a wedding ring — I can’t validate spending the money. My husband has a cheap ring, it was 165 dollars but it’s one we both love, so it was money well spent. I cannot find a ring that cheap for myself. All engagement settings and wedding rings are into the thousands (that I’ve found, anyway) if I wanted to be different than what I have now. I have just a plain band and my husband despises it. He calls my engagement ring his failure.
So.. I don’t think spending three months salary on a ring is reasonable. I would have very strong feelings towards those women (not that it matters), and I would likely not want to befriend them.
Post # 23
The X months salary expectation was an ad campaign by deBeers. So no. I think that ‘rule’ is ridiculous. People should spend what they are comfortable spending.
Post # 24
oh, God, no… I would be terrified to even wear the thing! If I could drive something or live in something (or travel somewhere) for the price of something on my finger, I’d fore-go the ring, that’s for sure.
Post # 25
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
My fiance ended up spending waaaay more than I had expected on my e-ring. I never gave him a price point. I just told him what I liked/wanted, and he picked out something that I loved!
Post # 26
Im against the 3 month salary rule its just too much. We did set up a budget he wants to spend between $15,000 to $10,000 but I much rather spend less..
Post # 27
I have no problem with it and neither does my Fiance. He saved his money and bought exactly what he thought was nice and he knew I would love.
Did I expect it? No. Did I love it? Yes.
Post # 28
Any woman who demands a specific amount of money be spent on her just for existing gets a raised eyebrow in my book. It is a gift, after all–not tax due to her.
I never knew about the 3 month salary “rule.” We got engaged while he was finishing graduate school (and earning grad student pay). My ring was… a solid 3 months pay at that salary. But for his current big-boy job (that he got about 2 months after we bought the ring), it’s just over a month of salary. That said, now that I think about it, the vague budget we worked with was actually 4 times his salary at the time–I just happened to fall for a ring that didn’t max it out. Ew. Now I feel spoiled and gross. He’s the one who set the money cap, but still. Ick.
C’est la vie. I love my ring, we’re financially stable, and no one knows the specifics of either the ring’s price or his salary.
Post # 29
Sounds a bit excessive to me. It’s not something I’d do.
Post # 30
@sillysillybee: Who comes up with this stuff?
DeBeers and the other jewelry companies. It originated with an ad campaign back in the day, and, of course, it was in their interest to get people to expect to spend a lot for a ring.
@phillybride61513: This rule is fro the 50’s when people made like $100 a week and everything cost less.
That actually doesn’t make it any less outrageous, though. Even though the exact dollar amounts were lower back then, in terms of (grossly exaggerated) proportions it’s exactly the same: three months’ salary, then as now, is still a quarter of the money you earn in one year. I don’t care if you’re filthy rich, poor as a church mouse, or anywhere in between, I think it’s patently absurd to set the expectation that someone will spend a quarter of their annual income on one piece of jewelry, at a time when you’re explicitly preparing for the responsibilities that come with married life.
Post # 31
I guess it just depends. 3 months’ combined income for us is like … a really, really REALLY nice ring! Whoa. Now I’m thinking about that!!! Thanks, OP 😉