(Closed) 3 month's salary on a ring, reasonable or not?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 62
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee

We have several friends that easily spent that much on their rings and their parents rings are even larger. No one demanded they be expensive. They’re just lucky to have the financial freedom to enjoy luxury products and I’m lucky enough to know them so I can secretly drool over their stones. 🙂

Post # 63
Member
3243 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@Lalaine:  I agree with you. I do not think spending three months’ salary is necessary, practical, or productive. Even on my SO’s modest living, 3 months’ pay for him is in the $15,000- $17,000 range, which would be an absurd sum to spend on a piece of jewelry, in my opinion– I would be afraid to wear that on my finger (what if it got damaged?); I don’t want a diamond, which is the usual expensive stone to put in a ring; and that’s enough to buy a car or pay for a nice wedding. Actually, that would be enough to pay for 1 1/2 semesters of my very expensive grad school tuition! Basically I feel that it would be a waste of hard-earned money.

I would be happy with a ring that was anywhere between $500-$2000. Any higher than that and I’d be kind of upset at the use of money and paranoid about having that on my finger. Lower than $500 or so I’d feel like I’d been cheaped out on since my SO does make pretty good money for our area and buys himself at least one item (camera, sporting equipment, etc.) a year that costs many hundreds of dollars.

I do remember a conversation with my SO a year or two ago where we were talking about engagement ring costs casually and he said “but isn’t it supposed to cost 3 month’s salary?” and I adamantly said “NO, that is crazy!” 🙂

Post # 64
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I say, if you want an expensive ring, it shouldn’t be all on him. I paid for my diamond. He paid for the setting. The setting was probably equivalent to 1/2 month salary for him (he is self employed so his income varies). The diamond was at the time 1.5 months of my salary but was taken from savings and we still have a comfortable emergency fund. So. I have no problem with spending the money to get what you want but not arbitrarily to match “3 months” and not if you can’t afford it. And I’m a big advocate of the woman adding her funds in too.

Post # 65
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

The ring I want is about $700, and when I showed my SO he was really surprised. People would tell him that he better spend alot, no less than $2,000, which I personally think is kind of crazy.

I would just not be comfortable wearing something on my finger that cost more than my car is worth, which is about how much that ring would be if he saved up three months of his salary. Do I want something nice-looking and special? Of course, but I just think the rest of that $1,300 could go towards something else, like getting him a new car–which he really needs.

We’re also what some would consider young–22 and 21–and even though he has a good job I just can’t bring myself to look at a ring that costs more than $1,000.

Post # 66
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@misskittenn:  That’s about where I wanted to stay too! I showed my SO the ring which was $1100, with the total set being $1500- he told me to pick sometime more expensive! …What?!? Apparently he doesn’t want to look like he cheaped out. 

Post # 67
Member
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

I really hate it when people feel like their ring has to be expensive in order to be special. 

you should get what you want, and not worry about how much or little it costs — as long as you can afford it, of course. 

Post # 68
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It’s definitely unreasonable! They should spend at least 6 months salary!! Probably on a loan, or maybe second mortgage?

 

Kidding.  But I’ve always wondered is that gross or net?

Post # 69
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Good gracious, no thank you. Mine was more like half a weeks salary.

Post # 70
Member
1647 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

is this after taxes? 🙂

 

Post # 71
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

3 month salary rule is completely ridiculous. Spend what you can AFFORD, you shouldn’t have to save up and spend three months salary on a ring. Is there really a need to spend so much money on a ring? There is so much more in life that you could use that money towards, honestly. Although some fortunate people have the money to burn….

Post # 72
Member
3716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

@Lalaine:  My thought is simple–can he afford it? My now-FI has 2 years salary in the bank, works hard, and lives below his means. When it came time for asking for a ring, I did ask one that was about 1.5 months take home salary. He spent closer to two, but he could have easily spent 3 without dipping far into savings. If he didn’t have the money to spend 3 months salary without much trouble and you are okay of a ring that size, then go for it. I wanted a more modest ring because in my field you wear more modest rings. I wouldn’t have wanted him to save for a year or two to have the funds to pay for a ring. I wanted to be engaged.

Post # 73
Member
5407 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
@MrsSnowMountain:  +1 That’s a really great point (:

It wouldn’t be a reasonable rule for us under normal circumstances, but my Fiance didn’t really have an income and saved for a really long time. He ended up spending like six months of income on my ring ahah (which was $1500 btw). He saved for a really really long time. We were 20 when he proposed and both of us were students.

Post # 74
Member
3681 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

It’s just a marketing scheme DeBeers came up with to separate gullible people from their money.

Post # 75
Member
2924 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think if a person/couple can afford it, then I don’t see a problem. Ability to pay should be the rule, not some arbitrary amount. I think it’s a stupid rule, but I’m a very practical person, so that colors my opinion. I have a friend who is determined to do the 3month rule thing and was talking to me about loans and payment plans. I had to stop talking about it with him because his financial stupidity was making my head explode. I shudder to think what’ll happen to them when it comes time for house shopping. If, like PPs have pointed out, the person/couple has the amount saved up, then go to town. Hell, if you want to spend a year’s salary on it and can do so without having to resort to going into debt, more power to you and please definitely show us pictures!

Post # 76
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I would never expect 3 months’ salary to be spent on a ring, but if that’s what the guy wants to do, great! My ring cost less than one of DH’s paychecks (after taxes), and I didn’t mind it at all.

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