Post # 1
hey bees. I accidentally posted this in the classifieds instead of the forums so I’m reposting here.
I’m just about 3 months out now from our date. I’m in the process of having my dress altered and I’m just feeling…sad and discouraged. I haven’t lost nearly the amount of weight I wanted at this time and I just don’t feel flattered in my gown. I tried to add a belt to help accentuate my waist and the seamstress is coming up with flutter sleeves using the bottom of my dress to see if it may help me feel more comfortable about my arms. Blah. What do you ladies think? I’m wearing shapewear…ordering a different one see if it it makes any difference with my love handles. I’m a pretty self conscious person to begin with and I just don’t feel beautiful, something I obviously want on my wedding day. I’ll also attach a pic of how I’m wearing my hair and my bouquet inspo. I plan to have similar flowers from the bouquet in my hair. I could use some help with other details/accessories to maybe help me with the look and feeling more bridal. Thanks in advance.<3
Post # 2
Don’t add flutter sleeves – they’ll only bring more attention to your arms.
Is it possible to open up the neckline and make it more of a V neck? You could also look at adding a petticoat or hoop skirt underneath to give the bottom more of a flare. That will create more of an hourglass shape.
Please don’t feel sad about your dress! You’ll look beautiful no matter what. I really like your hair and flower inspo too.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2020 - New York, New York
I feel like you’re reducing yourself with this post to what your body looks like, when you’re so much more than a body! Your fiancé isn’t marrying you because he thinks you’re “skinny”. He’s marrying you because he loves your personality and who you are, and because you bring joy to his life, because he already finds you super attractive just the way you are..and other reasons, I’m sure. Your guests feel the same way. Your closest friends and family members love you for YOU, not the way your body looks.
People always talk about the “bridal glow”, not the “bridal six-pack abs”. People care if you look happy and in love, not if you look “skinny”. Don’t put too much pressure on how you look. Try to focus on how you feel (hopefully in love, excited for your marriage, etc.!). Your wedding is just one day. If you don’t feel good, you can try to live a healthier lifestyle, but don’t put all of that pressure on yourself for just one day. Even if you haven’t met your “goal weight” in time for the wedding, people won’t care, and you can still have an amazing wedding.
One thing I would do is write down 2 things that you like or find beautiful about yourself each day leading up to the wedding. That can help you focus on what you like about yourself, rather than the negative stuff.
Post # 4
Personally, I would remove the belt. It cuts you off in weird place. Have it altered to fit you and you will get more of a waist. Plus it will flow better. I agre with PP about not doing flutter sleeves, and going with more of a V-Neck.
FWIW, I think you look beautiful!!
Post # 5
Ok, first: you will look beautiful! You have gorgeous hair and I’m willing to bet you have a face to go with it. Now I am a very blunt person so I will say the belt is doing you no favors at all.
You have 3 months, that’s plenty of time to drop more weight and I’m not going to blow smoke up your @$$ and tell you it doesn’t matter, because it does. But you have to actually want to lose weight and be able to tell yourself that looking good is a lot more desirable than that cookie/bread/hamburger/ice cream. I went back to school as an adult who was always slim and put on 30 lbs. It hung around for 2 years while I was taking classes, but the minute I decided I was serious about losing weight it came off quickly and it’s stayed off for years now. I eat whatever I want but small portions, I’m a small person. I weigh myself once a week to make sure the scale doesn’t get past 117. It can be done and ypu can do it if you’re serious.
Post # 6
I would also definitely give the belt a miss. It breaks up that column look. If you could remove that one large v shape piece of lacethat is directly under your chin and follow more the lines of the lining I think that may help. I have a good sized bust and v necklines suit me far more than boat or scoop. I agree the flutter sleeves are not needed.
The dress is shapely and just gorgeous at the back and your hair is lovely. I think you will be a beautiful bride
Post # 7
Rhis was it without the belt. The feedback I got was to add one. Now I don’t know 😞 I’m scared to alter the neckline as that’s such a defining feature of the dress. Ultimately I just feel like it’s wrong for me. Ugh!
Post # 8
I think you may be a little hard on yourself. If you try on other dresses and still feel like nothing is working then it is not the dress at all.
I do like it better without that belt. I think it is a really lovely gown and with a few alterations it will look even better on you.
Be kind to yourself. I think your fiance would be thrilled to see you walking down the aisle towards him in that gorgeous dress.
Post # 9
Your dress is really pretty – i echo the thoughts about making it a v-neck. It looks like it would be a simple fix. Don’t add sleeves. I think no belt looks best.
Post # 10
Agree with no sleeves, it only draws attention to your arms. Also agree with the v neck. I actually liked the belt from the front but on the back it doesn’t look like it flows well because of the way the back feature is, a belt doesn’t seem to fit the look from the back. Maybe see if the seamstress can sew something sparkly on the front to create the illusion of a belt?
I think it’s definitely worth trying on more dresses to make sure. I was surprise to find this out but more people than I thought had bought more than one dresses / had dress regret. One of my friend’s wife told me she changed dress 6 weeks out! Because when they did a rehearsal type of thing, she found it impossible to walk in the dress as it was too heavy! It was lucky that she found a second dress so close to the date.
Post # 11
I love the detail in your dress! and your hair style looks great. I think you’ll look amazing on your wedding day!
Post # 12
As PPs have suggested, clip the lace to make a v-neck and add a crinoline for some fullness in the skirt–you’ll be amazed at the difference!
Regardless, you will be a beautiful bride. We all obsess. Your Fiance loves you just as you are.
Post # 13
I don’t think you should do anything with it. No sleeves, belt or V neck. You may end up more unhappy with it and then unable to fix it. It’s way more beautiful as it is. I also think you should focus less on “fixing” the dress and more on loving yourself and boosting your self esteem. Take the next 3 months to do things that will make you feel happy and positive. Remind yourself that what matters most is the marriage, not the wedding.
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA
I’m going to share my experience with you. Please take it with a grain of salt.
I was also in love with the Alexis gown – until I tried it on and it was very disappointing. I felt fat and ugly. Then I tried other dresses that flattered me more and realized the Alexis was not made for my body type.
It is not you. Alexis just isn’t a flattering dress on everyone – it certainly wasn’t on me. I’ll share a picture of me wearing the Brenda, which I’ve ended up picking, and the Alexis just so you have a visual. Both are by Rebecca Ingram. Mind you, my weight was exactly the same on both pictures (taken a couple days apart):
So my advice is: either modify the cleavage (totally agree with previous posters) or pick another dress altogether… :/
Post # 15
What kind of shapewear do you have on in the pic? Have you tried a longline bra? It’s basically a low-back strapless bra with a corset built in. A good one can do wonders!