(Closed) 3 weeks married, about to start planning a baby

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Are you going to put school on hold?

Post # 4
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I understand about baby fever, I’ve struggled with it the last few years while I was finishing school. But I think it’s REALLY important to finish up your education first. Taking care of 2 children is just a lot more work than just one, and a lot of people I know have had kids with plans to finish school later, and it just never happens. This is exactly what happened to my mother in fact. 

You’re still young, I would strongly suggest waiting until your’re in your last year of school, so you can maybe be pregnant while in school so you know you will get the degree. Even if you took a year off after graduating to have a baby, I think that would be a lot better for you.

Post # 7
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@kris325:  Yeah, just really think it over, because there is no going back on it! And I completely understand wanting to put family first, but I also think making sure you as an individual reach your personal goal like finishing school makes you a better parent, and will never feel any resentment towards children from having held you back.

In fact, I recently decided to graduate from my graduate program with a master’s instead of a PhD for a lot of reasons, but one of them was because family is my priority and my current program was not okay with that. So I understand, but I never would have been able to make that type of sacrifice before I got my undergraduate degree. 

Post # 9
Member
6699 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Baby boy 12/2015

@kris325:  I agree with @ChemistryBride:  that waiting might be the right thing since you are both young and have found your dreem career path. I don’t know if you are going for your BS, MS or PhD.

Anyhow, if it makes you feel better, I have been in school for way too long and I am 28 right now. I have not stopped going to school but it’s just taking me a while to get my PhD. When I got married, I had only done a year of the PhD program. I did a MS previously, so I knew that the first few years were so crucial to do good in the program and didn’t want to get pregnant right away while I was doing the most time consuming and demanding part of it. So I told myself “this is what you wanted all your life, don’t waste it”. I can wait to be close to being done and be certain that I will graduate. I am getting there, but even though I worry about my age, I still have to be strong and say no we cannot have babies right now. Trust me I get frustrated because I have been in school for so long, but I know it is for the best and it is so worth it. Sorry for the long story. Take advantage of the opportunity you have to get your education. You children will be so proud of you as I am sure they already are. Maybe save up and take a family vacation! Enjoy your studies!

Post # 10
Member
6699 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Baby boy 12/2015

@ChemistryBride:  How did you find out that the program you were in was not ok with extending your family? Did you ask them? Just curious.

I wonder how my program will approach this. I know of a classmate that got pregnant in her first year and was supposed to be back but never did. Now I want to find out why.

Post # 11
Member
4575 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@kris325:  If you were able to do it once before and you know you can do it again, then go for it and Congratulations on your choice ๐Ÿ™‚ Wish you the best of luck!

Post # 12
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@kris325:  I got married April 6th!  i also have a five year old! We are starting our baby making in august, my best friend is getting married and i told her id wait until her wedding… but we are having fun practising!!!!!

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