Post # 46
This “I am VERY firm with the idea that if I don’t have kids by 30, I don’t want them. ” is a bit odd, you know . Thinking 30 ( 30 ! ffs) is some advanced age at which your heart and mind becomes set is – forgive me – demonstrative of a very young attitude. As is the general idea that you can make other people want what you want.
Post # 47
it’s actually not odd to know what you want in life. 30 itself is not old, but my mother, who is 50, has a 14 year old as her youngest. She has a hard time keeping up with her. that’s not what I want. And since I’m okay with not having kids, the fact that I have a cutoff age isn’t that big of a deal.
And who said anything about making other people want what I want ? If he doesn’t want it that’s fine, but that’s not what he’s led me to believe. So ?
Post # 48
Okay fellow bees, we have a happy update. Its a little late becuase I didn’t want to force the conversation monday when we were out having a wonderful evening. But tuesday the topic came up on its own and we discuessed again. He put in an excellent amount of thought, and made me feel 110% better about the entire situation. He is positive he wants to marry me, he says he knew he was ‘stuck’ with me until the end when we first met, haha. But his concerns are that he wants to be sure we can afford to take on the new house payment and everything before we take that step.
So thats definately understandable, but he hadn’t showed that he was worried about this before so I didn’t know how he was feeling about it. We’ve made a plan to write down everything we each spend for the next 6 months-1 year, and to go through and show him how much we could save without buying extra stuff if we needed too. I’m also going to look up about how much a payment would be for the kind of loan we will need, so that we can kind of figure that up.
But I’ve been told we will be married within the next couple of years, so I am to expect a ring by our next aniversary. Very excited and am finally able to relax and enjoy more of our time together without being frustrated and unsure about things. Oh! Also he had talked to his parents about this over a year or so ago, and thats why his dad had been calling me future-daughter in law.
Post # 49
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
That’s an awesome update, and I’m so happy you were able to get some mental peace after talking to him!
To piggy back on what a lot of other Bees have said: don’t worry about all the people barking at you and saying you’re too young. Yes, your age would be too young for SOME people. But that doesn’t mean you’re one of those. You sound very mature, and honestly, if I had it my way I would have been getting married much younger than what I am now. Just keep weighing out your choices and thoughts carefully, and you’ll be just fine. =)