(Closed) 3 years on… (online dating story)

posted 4 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
3434 posts
Sugar bee


Do you want to block out your full names?

Post # 3
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018 - Inn On Broadway

missmetal666:  I love this! I met my boyfriend of a year online (Match.com) he lives 6 hours way. We did the whole back and forth seeing each other twice or three times a month, and there has some ppl being judgmental and negative saying that how can LDR’s work and that I should just find someone who lives close to me. I believe it can work and it does!!! I am currently job hunting and once I get a job I’m moving to be with him. It’s refreshing hearing other ppl’s stories who are in LDR’s because all I’ve heard from ppl around me is negativity.

Post # 4
252 posts
Helper bee

missmetal666:  Had many similar conversations to this with my SO for the 3 years we dated online before meeting! We’re now approaching 3 years since meeting, it’s fantastic. 🙂 LDRs definitely work. Just requires a lot of perseverance and trust.
Congratulations to you two 🙂

Post # 6
6665 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

missmetal666:  Awesome!  I also had a successful LDR (opposite US coasts when we stated).  We planned a trip across the southwest to meet and were so excited about the trip itself that our conversation was something along the lines of how even if we didn’t click, we’d be taking that vacation anyway, in seperate cars.  My best friend related to him that if he chopped me up and left me in a cooler, she’d hunt him down for ruining her upcoming wedding in which I was a bridesmaid (her husband was also an online find).  He wound up coming to the wedding as well. Almost 10 years later and here we are living in the southwest, very close to where we began it all – who’d have guessed?  And our first anniversary is fast arriving.  I wish I had our old messages but the site we were using wiped them.

Have a great wedding!

Post # 8
3485 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Love hearing stories like this. I met my Fiance online and we talked quite a bit just as friends before we started dating. We had an idea that we were in it for the long haul, but once we met that sealed it for us. I thought things might be awkward when we first met or that maybe what we had online wouldn’t translate in person, but it was like we’d been together for years and years. Now we’ll be moving in together next year and getting married about a year after that. I couldn’t be happier with the path our relationship has taken.

Post # 10
4250 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Good that you made things work.  I’m not trying to burst your bubble or anything…but I think anything can feel “different” when you are talking online and have not met in person.  I talked to a guy online once for a month or so before meeting him.  I had built him up to be this fantastic guy in my head.  And honestly he was a decent guy, but we were not a good match.  Yet when we talked online behind a keyboard we could talk easily and about anything and it felt “different”.  We met in person and had a massive amount of chemistry, but that fizzled very soon after we started dating.  We were also looking for very different things.  I mean of course you can talk about that stuff online but in person is quite different.

I think a lot of dating has to do with luck too.  Sometimes you take a leap of faith and it works out.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  I also think it can be dangerous to talk online for an extended period of time without meeting someone.  In today’s day and age when you can communicate in pretty much every way imaginable it is important to keep expectations in check especially with dating and relationships.

Post # 12
21 posts

I do understand that sometimes it can feel different. At two years with my ex I was fed up and long past done with his crap, just trying to figure out how to say so. Within six months of knowing my boyfriend he was feeling I could be it and it just.. didn’t scare me. I mean the bigness of it all did, but the idea of him.. didn’t. And we’d only met once, when he was in town to visit his siblings after deployment. But it felt good with him. I am NOT flirty, trusting, etc but I found I could depend on him. And now it’s been about 2 years and I already had to talk him out of proposing upon returning from the second deployment recently. 

Although for us, any sort of 8k trip is out of the question! I can’t imagine being able to pay that much for just a possibility like that! We are across the country from each other and with a new promotion he is looking to reenlist after all and is putting somewhere in Europe as his top choice for PCS. If that happens (or anywhere overseas), he wants me to come join him at some point. Which means getting married. Hypothetically I was always fine with getting engaged around year 2 or 3, but I always assumed it would be someone who actually lives in the same time zone. It’s hard to see him more than about 3 times a year; we are both limited in what time we can take off and how much money we have to spend on travel.

How does one become engaged while so far apart, marry and plan the move? I’ve always seen myself getting married and fear ANY sort of rush for the sake of getting married, but we work incredibly well together, our communication is constant and wonderful, and we just… work. It really does seem like what I always wanted. I just hope I don’t mess things up by insisting on a longer timeline or something since it’s a bit shorter and just not really the ‘typical/traditional’ route. So I’m just at the tricky time when I’m trying to see if I could be ready to take the plunge in the next year or two even though it’s not what I imagined once upon a time. It’s not that I wonder if he’s good for me or anything, it’s more just not wanting to potentially sabotage anything by rushing and what could follow as a result, like money being tight, me being far from family, while on the other side I see him feeling so sure and feeling like he can’t wait forever, and that if I push and hold off too long he will really worry if it’s ever going to happen and start to lose faith in me – much like some of you do. Just trying to find the balance and to prepare for any possible outcome as much as possible. He’ll be 30 on his next birthday and I think to him it’s a reminder of his mortality.

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