(Closed) 3 years?!

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think it’s time to break off the engagement.  You do not marry someone who tells you they don’t know if they’ll still love you 2 years down the road.  That is not a commitment.  It’s certainly not a promise to spend the rest of his life with you (which is what an engagement is SUPPOSED to be.)

I’m sorry, but he sounds quite manipulative and it appears as though his manipulation is working, since you seem to be blaming yourself.  This does NOT have anything to do with you whatsoever.  This is all him.  Frankly, he ought to be ashamed of himself for treating you this way.  If he truly wanted to marry you, he’d be fine with going to the courthouse tomorrow and sealing the deal, making money a total non-issue.  That’s how ready a man is supposed to be when he proposes.

You’re quite young, you’ve got a long life ahead of you.  Don’t settle for someone who not only isn’t “sure” he’ll love you two years down the road, but someone who would actually say that to your face.  After “proposing.” What an ass.


Post # 33
10125 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State



Um, it sounds pretty clear to me that you are in totally different places.  It’s nice that he’s helping his mum, but the big news is that he doesn’t see this relationship the way you do.

He can’t look 2 yrs down the road & see for a certainty that he will even be with you but you’re planning a wedding in your head.

I’ve come to the conclusion that after enough ranting & raving from their women, a lot of guys will say anything just to make it stop.

Post # 34
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with all of the comments above, a man should not propose if he’s not ready. On the other hand, it sounds like he has a lot going on and perhaps has a case of cold feet, which might be why he is reacting this way and saying stuff like “What if we stop loving each other in two years”.

My two cents is that, if you want to continue this relationship, you should give him the ring back and explain that you are not comfortable or feel secure with his hesitations. Tell him you will be patient and wait for him to propose when he is sure that he’ll love you in two years time and when he is ready to set a date.

He might simply need some extra time to wrap his head around it all. And if that’s not the case, you need to do what’s best for you.

Post # 35
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m in complete agreement with the posters above that he is NOT ready to get married! Who proposes to someone if they’re unsure if they’ll love them two years down the road? What’s the point? The financial situation with his mother I understand, not knowing if he’ll love you in two years I don’t. You deserve someone who KNOWS he’ll love you forever.

Post # 36
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@armychica06: +1!

I would totally give the ring back and break off the engagement.  Who the hell says “we have to see if we’ll still love each other in 2 years” after proposing?  This is stuff he should’ve considered before the ring came into play.  He’s either not too bright or thinks that you’re not too bright.  Either way.. you can do much better.

No matter what you decide, I hope everything works out for you, hun.  You deserve the best!

Post # 37
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@FutureMrsPride:  You may have a ring but you are not engaged that I can see.  An engagement is a promise to marry and your man isn’t offering you that.  He’s also told you that the minute he doesn’t feel “in-love” he’s out the door – that’s hardly a commitment. 

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