(Closed) 30+ first time brides … are you paying for your own wedding?

posted 7 years ago in 30 Something
  • poll: Are you paying for your wedding?

    Yes, we are paying for the whole wedding ourselves

    We are paying for most of the wedding with some small contribution from others

    We are paying about half of the total cost

    We are paying about a quarter of the total cost

    We will pay for one or two things only, the rest will be paid by others

    We are not paying anything at all for our wedding

    Other

  • Post # 76
    Member
    180 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m 32. My dad is under the impression that he’s paying for everything, but really he’s only paying for the venue, the dress, the dinner, and the cake. I’m paying for the DJ (I know a DJ, and he offered to do it for $300-$500), the STDs and invitations, the centerpieces and decorations are DIY (because I enjoy doing that kind of stuff), one of the bridesmaids is doing hair & makeup (she’s a professional), and my Future Mother-In-Law is paying for the honeymoon as our gift.

    Post # 77
    Member
    6 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    My parents insist on paying my half of the wedding costs, plus my dress. I tried several times to pay at least for some (for example, they pay the family part of dinner and I pay for my friends), but they say they helped my brother when he needed it (he’s 11 years older than me) and now they want to help me and they want us to start with “a fresh slate”. I honestly appreciate it. FI’s family is chipping in less- his dad is paying for music (about 1200$) and his mom is paying for his wedding suit. That’s about it. And here I ask you- does it change culturally from one country to another? I’m asking because I’m Italian and my Fiance is from the US. The wedding is in Italy and his family is flying over here (all for free, with air miles) and spending about 2 weeks of vacation around the country. It seems like Fiance is completely chill about having to pay more than me (I will split his costs with me), while to me, it’s perfectly normal for parents to pay for most of the wedding (at least, it is here). 

    Post # 78
    Member
    473 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    I’m 37, Fiance is 33. My parents are giving us what they can, which is very helpful but still less than half of the total cost. We live in a very expensive area so the wedding is kind of de facto expensive, and have a lot of other life costs right now, plus we are still years away from owning a home, so their help is greatly appreciated. 

    Post # 79
    Member
    2845 posts
    Sugar bee

    We’re in our 30’s and are paying for our own wedding.

    Post # 80
    Member
    2065 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We are in our mid-30s, my parents are paying $10k plus my dress and veil.  Fiance and I will pay another about $4k (mostly fiance but I will pick up some small costs here and there) and his parents are hosting a low key rehearsal dinner.  I feel kind of weird taking money from my parents but we would have just eloped without their money and it seemed important to them to contribute and for me to have a wedding.  They have been waiting a long time for me to find Mr. Right! 

     

    Post # 81
    Member
    271 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    29 now but we will be married at 30. We are paying for the wedding ourselves, although FI’s parents have offered to pay for extra guests they have added to our list. 

    Post # 82
    Member
    1727 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    SellyJo:  I’m replying. I’m 29. FH is 30. Parents are contributing about $1000. We’re paying about $10,000. We told them to contribute what they can when they offered. We’re very grateful, even if they don’t have to contribute. 

    Post # 83
    Member
    610 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    By the time we marry, we’ll be 32/38. My parents passed by the time I was 11yr and his parents living but unable to help, so we will be completely funding our wedding. I’m sure family will help with “something” ie perhaps my bridal shower, or material/fabric I need for my traditional wedding. However I’m the kind of person, if asked to pay for my own bridal shower, I really wouldnt surprised and would pay for it. I dont dwell on the “i wish we had family that could do….” It would be nice, but it’s never been my life. 

    Post # 84
    Member
    18 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    View original reply
    SellyJo :  In our mid-thirties too and have been living away from home for a few years. However I’m the first to get married from my family and my parents are adamant they are contributing  to the wedding. They are paying for the meal/hotel…coming to 1/2 of our budget. In saying that though my mom is paying for hair &make up the morning of the wedding and my wedding dress also. Will not take no for an answer. 

    I think it’s up to each person and the family.my parents are in a position to pay and eager to do so. It’s not for everyone…and it took A LOT to persuade himself to do so!!!

    Post # 85
    Member
    127 posts
    Blushing bee

    Parents paying for the wedding is not common at all anymore where I’m from. It really only happens with wealthy families. The average age of a bride here is 30 also therefore the couple tend to have already gotten education, careers etc under their belts and can save/ borrow. 

    Post # 86
    Member
    2009 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Im not what you asked as im late 20s not 30s (although fiance is in his 30s) but everyone I know from their early 20s to their 60s paid for their own weddings… I think expecting your parents to pay is very much a dead tradition here

    Post # 87
    Member
    215 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    We will be 30 and 32 when we get married and we are getting a contribution but paying most ourselves – however I am getting married in my partners country as we live here so my family have to pay for their flights etc. My dad has given me £1000 which is kind but with the terrible value of the pound, exchanging it to the currency where we live means it’s not really worth as much. I’m struggling to save up the rest at the moment and might have to downgrade my venue (it’s at a beach resort where the ceremony, lunch and dinner/party will be – Buddhist ceremony which has to be in the morning so we will have to feed people 2 times) … but I really want the place that I’ve found. The other option is much cheaper but nowhere near as nice and as I have family and friends flying 6000 miles to get here I want to have nice food / party for them.

    Post # 88
    Member
    440 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    We’re both in our 30s with decent paying jobs.   We’re paying for like 80-90% of our wedding.  My dad is paying for the videographer/photographer and his Dad agreed to pay for something, but not sure what that will be yet.  We’re also footing 100% of the honeymoon. 

    Post # 89
    Member
    239 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    We are 35 and 37 and planned on paying for everything ourselves. But his dad is giving us money, which we will probably use for stuff after the wedding like our mortgage. And my mom insisted on paying for my dress and accessories. I have a feeling it’ll be a constant struggle to get her not to pay for stuff. So we’ll be paying for as much as we can and certainly planned on paying for everything.  

    Post # 90
    Member
    299 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    We’re 37 and 38, been together 10 years and paying for it ourselves.

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