(Closed) 30+ ladies help!!

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 18
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@blueberries123:  My suggestion is talk to him one last time. Ask him if he has any doubts about the relationship. Does he see marriage in the future. Really listen to him of his concerns and what kind of life he wants to live. Then go to the gym, sweat all the anguish, buy sexy clothes and force yourself to go out, look sexy and desirable  and make sure he sees you go out. He will see you as this beautiful woman that can have any man but is choosing to be with him.

Post # 19
79 posts
Worker bee

I’m also 33 and have the same concerns. I’ve told him that I need to be TTC by about 36 at the absolute latest, which means we need to be married by then. I’ve explained that this is why I can’t stay in an uncommitted relationship with him past the 3.5 year mark, because I’d literally be putting all my eggs in one basket – if I stayed and he later decided not to marry me and have babies it would be too late for me to do it with someone else.

He’s aware of this timeline and understands why I set it (not because I don’t love him, but because I can’t give up my opportunity to have a family for him). I’ve asked him to be fair and let me go if he decides he won’t marry me. At present he wants me to stay and give him more time, so I am, but I will leave if I don’t have a ring by 3.5 years.

So there are three things keeping me sane right now:

1. I know there must at least be a chance of receiving a ring before 3.5 years or else he’d have let me go when I asked him to. He knows I’m serious and is aware how much time he has.  

2. I know that if he chooses not to marry me I’ll be leaving him by the 3.5 year mark and will still have a chance to marry and have babies with someone else.

2. As an absolute last resort, I’m saving up and planning to be artificially inseminated if I’m still unmarried at age 37. So whatever else happens, I will have a baby. This, more than anything, is what stops me panicking.


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