Post # 1
I have my heart on getting married outdoors but the ceremony only allows for 30 people, and our list is about 100 people long. We can cut it down to just family, but no one but my fiance and I are too keen on the idea. What should I do? Sacrifice my destination to please everyone, or keep the destination and possibly leave some disgruntled people?
Post # 3
Go for what you and your fiance want. My fiance and I made the mistake of going along with everyone else’s ideas until we realized we weren’t even excited about the ceremony and wished we could just elope on our own! We ended up downscaling to a smaller ceremony after our families had been told we would have a bigger wedding, which made the drama all the worse.
What we are doing is having a family-only ceremony outside (50- we both have a lot of aunts and uncles and their kids) and having a reception with all of our friends and family (about 150) afterwards. Once we explained the idea fully to everyone, they were surprisingly receptive and most jumped on board. Go with what YOU want, and people will just have to understand.
Post # 4
We too are having a private immediate family only beach ceremony on a Friday afternoon in May. The 12 or so of us will go out to dinner and eat a small cake. Then on Saturday afternoon/early evening, we’re having our 100-120-person reception. The date for our reception is the date I’m putting on our wedding website, registries, and invitations. I’m finding that my guests are actually appreciative that they only come for the party portion!
Post # 5
@harleyanastasia: are you really set on that outside venue. I really wanted to get married outside but we were able to find space for all of our guests. I know it would be really hard for me to pick and choose I wanted there more than others. I want to be surrounded by all my friends and family… Maybe you could find a compromise that you all love…
Post # 6
If it were me, I would find a place that would accommodate everyone that you have on your guest list. Personally, I would not feel comfortable going to just the reception, unless it was being held on a completely different day.
Post # 7
You should have the people at your wedding who are most important to you, otherwise I think you will regret it.
If the most important people in your life number around 30, then that’s all that matters. If there are other people you would truly like to be at your wedding, that is something you should consider.
I’ve never felt that a wedding should include anyone but the people the bride and groom hold dear. Don’t let any one else tell you who is important to you.
Side note: You didn’t mention this, but incase it is unclear, I am NOT advocating inviting 30 people to the ceremony and everyone else to the reception. I am firmly in the camp of “reception guests=ceremony guests”. Period.
Post # 8
I have been to many weddings where they had a small ceremony with family, and then they had a reception afterwards with friends. I don’t see anything at all wrong with it. You get into rude territory in my opinion when “some friends” are invited to the ceremony and others are not. If you keep it strictly family at your ceremony and invite friends to your reception, I don’t think people who will be offended. I certainly wouldn’t.
Post # 9
Oops. Erase the “who.” I can’t stand grammatical errors! 😉