(Closed) 30 something brides-to-be

posted 9 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 3
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

great question!!! i’m closer to 30 than 29 now (by 2 days lol!!)

We are paying for everything ourselves.  I actually am not into what other people think my wedding should be. I am doing a wedding that is completely totally us. I am also not into being a princess on my wedding day. I sort of wanted that in my 20s, now I am all about cool sophistication.

I also think I am a bit more understanding (although still anal and crazy). The day is more about our family becoming more than my vision and my day. I want our family to be represented, not just me.

Post # 4
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I wouldn’t have had the money upfront to pay for the wedding in my 20’s.  In my 20’s, it probably would have been more people, more party.  Now I want a smaller, more intimate wedding.  Fewer people in our wedding party, and definitely different things to register for….how things change when you own a house and already had to furnish it, and I feel too guilty asking for upgrades!

Post # 5
Member
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am 30 and YES YES YES the wedding my Fiance and I are planning is extremely different that something I would have planned had I gotten married in my 20’s.  The only thing that would be the same is the fact that I have always wanted a smaller quest list. We are having 100-120.  We are marrying on Halloween and having fun with it. In my 20’s I know I would have opted for a more traditional wedding on a non holiday date  Wink

Post # 6
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

i concur with ikphmd.  I would’ve had it at a posh hotel for major after parties. I would’ve had to get a 2nd job and charge everything.  Now its going to be something small and intimate (max 25 people).  And I have the money to pay upfront myself.

Before I probably would’ve been looking at other weddings, stealing ideas and comparing what i was doing to try to “keep up with the Jones”.  Now I could careless and just want the people that I care about the most there.  Then have a summer bbq to party it up. 

But this is just me 🙂

Post # 7
Member
7527 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

My parents paid for a party for 120 people after I eloped at 21.  Now I am 32 and having for a wedding for 50 people, Fiance and I are paying for it by ourselves.  The first one was more traditional.  This one is what is more reflective of me.

Post # 8
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Definitely different.  I’ve been engaged (a few times) before and freak out with wedding planning.  But I love to plan parties so our wedding, although somewhat traditional, is going to be a family party. 

Post # 9
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Yep def different this go around. When I was 23 planning my first wedding my parents were paying for it all. They also helped me with everything… picking the venue/photogo/cakes/dress/etc.  I also was doing a very traditional wedding and had all my cousins as bridesmaids because that’s what my parents thought was the proper thing to do. 

This go around we are paying for 1/3 of the wedding, his parents 1/3 and mine 1/3.  I’ve been so laid back about getting things done.  I am having fun doing the research with just me and my Fiance and letting the parents know that things are taken care of.  We are having a very non-traditional wedding in an airplane hangar and couldn’t be more excited!

The other thing I’ve noticed is that we (my Fiance and I) are having to combine households/cars/bank accounts etc.  My Fiance and I are having to sit down and have serious convos about how to combine our items/accounts in the best way to help save money and make things easy on us.  I didn’t have that the first go around. I was moving into his home and buying a car once we got married.  My ex-FI and I never had conversations about how to handle bank accounts, etc. because I was fresh out of college and just going from my parents accounts to his.  I didn’t have my own accounts established.  Big difference!

Post # 10
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

it seems that the majority of us will have smaller weddings. I don’t want more than 75 people at mine (and i’m praying for 60 tops)…

Post # 11
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I always knew I wanted a small intimate wedding but now at age 31 and looking at what I could buy instead of having a wedding, I nixed a more traditional wedding for an elopement with just the parents and siblings being there.  For me I’ve gotten older and I know who I am and having a traditional wedding just isn’t me (or him for that matter) and I think when I was in my 20’s I would have been pressured into having the party even if it was on the small side.  I just want to be married to my sweetie and all the rest is kind of meh.

Post # 12
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Love this post!  I’ll be 30 when I get married in August, and my Fiance is 40.  We’re having to talk pre-nup…yuck!  But it’s all different when you have assets and business and stuff (well I don’t have any of that stuff, but he does : ).

We are also going smaller…85.  I’ve never been a big fan of spending lavishly, but I find myself trying definitely to keep costs down so that we can add a closet to our bedroom and repaint our house.  Super romantic, princessy stuff like that! ; )

I’m excited to have waited this long though…the wedding will definitely reflect both of us, not just me, and will be an intimate celebration we will all remember.

Post # 13
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Both of us will be 35 when we marry – I don’t think I’d plan differently from a whose paying perspective (I would have paid in my 20’s too), but I think I’m treating my wedding party differently.  I would have had a big, blow-out wedding party – kind of a ‘whose-who’ of friendship.  But, now – Fiance and I decided we don’t want a formal wedding party at all.  Our very closest friends are 100% supportive and I’ve asked them to be my ‘unofficial’ wedding party – which was endearing.

 

Post # 14
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee

I was never engaged or married before, but I do think my vision for my wedding changed a little as I got older.  I think I definitely wanted to pare things down a little bit and cut the guest list from what I might have wanted in my 20’s.  Also, we paid for everything ourselves, so I think that impacted that decision as well.  We had a total of 86 people and it was kind of awesome to be able to talk to everyone and see everyone AND have fun dancing and hanging out.

Post # 15
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I am 34, my groom to be hasn’t hit 30 just yet.  I would say that had I married in my 20s, my parents would have contributed alot more!  That said, its nice to have complete control over my wedding even with the extra added $$$ responsibility.  Also, my vision for a “perfect wedding” is definitely much smaller, more low key than it would have been had I been in my 20s.

Post # 16
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am 38 and FH is 36. We are paying for our wedding, but that gives us control over what we want, so I like that! However, if I was in my 20s’, I would still be paying for the wedding, too!

In my 20s’ I probably would have had several bridesmaids and fretted over who would be Maid/Matron of Honor. Now I really have no desire to have a bridal party and won’t have bridesmaids.

I feel I am more confident in many ways, so I doubt I will be consumed with worrying about what makes other people happy. Both FH and I really want to focus on the union of our lives and not so much family drama (which I am sure will come up at some point!).

I don’t have a dress yet, but I know that I am looking for something sophisticated, elegant with a dash of sexy. Never had the desire to be a “princess” in my 20s’ and certainly don’t have the desire at 38!

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