(Closed) 30 something brides-to-be

posted 11 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 32
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not 30 or engaged yet, but I’m 29 and feel like I relate more to this board than the 20s.LOL Hope I can stay!

I don’t think my wedding will be any different ,except I wouldn’t have the money in my early 20s. I never wanted to be a princess and if anyone asked me about a tiara, I would have looked at them like they are crazy. Right now, I just want something small and intimate. I’m just inviting family and my 5 close friends and their husbands/significan others. I don’t want a show for other people.

I just want it to be a reflection of us. Not what people THINK a wedding should be.

Post # 33
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m 35 and my fiance is 34.  Its my first wedding.  I think that in my 20’s, I wouldn’t have known what to do for planning.  I don’t know that the wedding would be that different, except maybe the location because I’ve moved around a bit, but, I think the planning would have overwhelmed me.  But, now, I’m just enjoying it and getting everything done without fuss.  I”m better at making decisions.

Post # 34
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m 33 and this is my first engagement and wedding.  My fiance is 38.  Like most girls, I used to dream of the perfect fairytale wedding, but I guess experience (and wisdom, I hope!) has made me realize that I need to focus my energy on preparing for the MARRIAGE, not the WEDDING.  That said, I have to admit that I’ve been having tons of fun doing the cliched wedding stuff like looking at dresses and picking out flowers. 🙂 

Post # 35
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I’m 31 now, Fiance 29, we’ll be 31 and 33 when we marry.  My first wedding (I was 19)was a shotgun, baby on the way, get it done in 10 days cause our family friend priest was going back home to Spain for a month and by then it’ll be too late cause i’ll be showing type of wedding.  Soooo it was very small, maybe 50 people, mom made food and cake, and we did reception, no music, no party, in the basement of the church.  this time around, it’s my FI’s 1st time and i’m doing the big party for him since he wants it that way.  He was known by his family as the eternal bachelor, and his family was floored and ecstatic to say the least when we moved in together and he’d tell them about his playing house and his "kids" (my kids from previous marriage). 

Back then I didn’t have time to plan out a wedding, or the means.  My parents did it all.  This time we’re paying for it, and since I didn’t have a huge one and he’s never had one at all, we’re going all out!!!  Wedding on the beach, huge bridal party, 200 guests, all on xmas eve 2011!!!  I’m glad i’m in my 30’s though because it’s not all about me being bridezilla and it all being about me, me me!!!  but it’s more of our families will meet for the first time, and let’s have a kick ass christmas party, puerto rican style!!!

Post # 36
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Like @tvilase, in my 20s I never wanted to get married…now, “older & wiser” or maybe more spiritually grounded, I value the unitive aspect of marriage & WANT to be married.  Additionally, like PPs, a smaller, more personal wedding is our goal.  We’re keeping the numbers down as well, hoping for 70, concentrating on quality rather than quantity (since our self-funded budget allows for only one).

Definitely feel more confident in putting my foot down on my high priority aspects & compromising or eliminating low priority ones.

Post # 37
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

IN my 20s I think I would have had a guest list as long as the day but we’re trying to keep ours down to 75 or so people and are hoping that about 50 attend.  I’m 30 and my Fiance will be 28 when we marry (his bday just around the corner).  When I was younger I think I was less choosy with whom I made friends and that would have contributed to the long guest list.  Also, I think my mother and step-father would have thought it was their chance to showcase their work (they’re both in catering and event design/coordinating) to their friends and colleagues.  I think I would have had it at a bigger venue and one that was more formal and had less personal meaning.  We’re having our wedding on my grandparents’ farm in Eastern Kentucky and the reception in the cabin my grandfather built. 

Although my mother is paying for our wedding and reception (FI and family are in charge of the rehearsal dinner), I feel more in control of the wedding than I know I would have when I was in my early to mid 20s.  I am choosing what I want food-wise and flower-wise.  I want the day to be a relaxed event, not a big to-do.  I’m thinking of having a short dress instead of long but I have yet to go dress shopping so that might change when I do.

All in all, I thinl age has tamed me a bit and has made me realize that weddings are now to me about gathering the people you love around you and sharing in your momentous occassion, not an occassion for me to feel pressure and need everything to go perfectly.

Post # 38
Member
10216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

coming back to change my initial response, my mom and stepdad are paying for a bit over 1/2 of our wedding!! YAY!!

Post # 39
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’ll be 30 when we marry in a few months, and he’ll be 27 (but more mature than I am!) and one thing I’ve noticed that’s different from some 20s brides and how I’d have been 10 years ago is that I’m not getting caught up in other people’s drama-lama.  I have higher expectations for myself and for others.  For instance, if my sister chooses a bm dress that I don’t like, I’ll ask her if she has any others to choose from, expect her to be reasonable about it, and if she sticks with the yicky one I’ll suck it up and be glad she’s there for me and figure I won’t notice on the day of anyway.  I think part of the key is having been to a few weddings myself and realizing how little I (as a guest) really cared about most things.  I’m glad to have weddingbee boards to get excited on since I feel there’s only so much wedding talk I should expect others to have to listen to! 

Post # 40
Member
2857 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

I think it definitely feels different as a 30-something bride. We are paying for our wedding ourselves for the most part (our families are contributing just a little bit). And we’re making most of the decisions ourselves.

My mom was telling me that one of her coworkers was gushing and saying “Oh, you’re going to have so much fun planning your daughter’s wedding!” My mom just snorted and said, “My daughter is almost 35, she doesn’t need me to plan her wedding. I’m just here to help if she needs it.”

I’m proud to be a 30-something bride, though!

Post # 41
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

When I was in my 20’s the idea of getting/ being married seemed quite distant.  I was nowhere near mature enough for marriage, but I think if I had planned a wedding back then, it would’ve been in my hometown with all of my extended family present.  I’m 33, Fiance is 36, and we’ve planned a small destination wedding in Mexico.  We’re expecting 25-30 guests and to me the entire thing seems perfect for us!

Post # 42
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I thought I was ready to be married in my 20’s but in retrospect there was no way. I am in a nice place now and happy to be getting married in my 30’s. We are paying for the majority of our wedding ourselves and made our wedding invitations.

I dont think that is something that would ever happen in my 20’s.

 

Post # 43
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

In my 20’s I was nowhere NEAR be married. At 37, this will be my first (and praying only marriage) and I think our wedding will def. be different since my fiance was previously married and 1/2 our wedding party is made up of his children. I think this is awesome and quite meaningful. My Mom is contributing towards our wedding but we will pay for approx. 75% ourselves. We will have about 100- 120 guests, so this is about the same I think regardless of age.

Post # 44
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think that it would have been nice to have found my love and gotten married in my 20s but, at the same time, I am glad that I am doing it at this point in my life.

My fiance and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves because we felt that we had the means to do so. My parents have been wonderfully generous in purchasing my wedding dress and accessories though which we greatly appreciate.

As for what we are doing differently than we might have done in our 20s….there isn’t a whole lot. I don’t believe that I am any different than a 20 something getting married. I don’t think I am too old for the fairytale dress or the big ceremony or the like. We do have more creative control because we are paying for it ourselves which we may not have done had we been younger. And I suppose we have more opinions about wedding related things now having been to a few ourselves than we may have had we been married earlier.

Post # 45
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m 34 and I’ve actually thought about that quite a bit. I know it would not have been nearly as elegant, detailed or creative. I know who I am know and I know what is important and what is not. My wedding would have been much more cookie cutter had I done it in my 20s. Not to mention, I definitely know the man I’m marrying is right for me and I couldn’t have known that 10 years ago. The only only only thing is had I done it in my 20s my dad would have been there to walk me down the isle and I would trade all of this ‘maturity’ in to have that moment and that memory.

Post # 46
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m 33 and my Fiance is 27, so this whiole thing is untraditional. Looking back now, I wasn’t ready to get married in my 20s and I’m happy I didn’t. It would have been with the wrong guy and for the wrong reasons. I’ve finally met the “one” and am so excited to marry him! I just had to get over our age difference because in the end, it really doesn’t matter.

We are having a destination wedding which suits the stage I am in my life. All our friends and family are super excited, except for my mom. She’s 68 and I think expected a more traditioanl wedding. I have finally accepted that she needs to just get over it.  

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