(Closed) 30 something brides-to-be

posted 11 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 47
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I am 29, almost 30 (next week!)Fiance is 25..will be 26 when we get married.

I had *planned* on paying for the wedding entirely by myself, however, my mom wants me to have a “nice” wedding (rather than go down a cheaper route), so I am paying what I had set as my budget vision (for the cheaper wedding) and my parents are supposedly paying the rest. 

We aren’t having as many guests as I imagined when I was younger…also the friends who will attend or be bridesmaids has changed (my vision changed that is) since I have lost touch with a lot of people over the years….etc.

I imagine more of a lower-key, simpler, smaller wedding…definitely not into all the the little details/bridezilla/over planning mode….after all, it’s just one day….. when I was 20s I also didn’t allow myself to imagine too much about a wedding, except for the colors:)

I put more emphasis on what is important to me…for instance, my fiance and I cared much more about which specific Catholic church we were getting married versus the reception site/reception. We picked a really beautiful church that feels extra spiritual as well… I also care about what the dress looks like (still hoping to keep cost down of course)…and the decor/cake.

Post # 48
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had always planned on being married by 30 but turns out I didnt even get engaged till I was 30! Bad thing about that is that now my parents are not in the same financial situation (Dad is retired) as they were when they paid for my sister’s wedding’s 15 & 12 years ago.  I’m holding onto hope they can still help a little but I’m thinking for the most part it will just be us paying for the wedding which of course will make my vision change even though I really dont want it to!

Post # 49
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

this is kind of a funny question for me because i never pictured myself getting married in my 20s if at all. when i was high school-ish, i always joked w/my mom that i was gonna run off to vegas and get married if i ever did. now i feel the complete opposite – i want a “real” wedding because i now want our families and close friends to share it with us. we’re not having a big white wedding per se, but i think we’re doing it right.

Post # 50
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am 33 now, but at 21 was engaged and planned most of the wedding before backing out. Looking back, the whole experience was weird, something didn’t feel right and in the end I figured it out.  Sadly this time, I am doing it without my mom, who passed away a few years ago.  I am so much more at peace with my who I am, who I chose to marry, getting married and the type of wedding I want, I just wish she was here to do it with me.  FH and I are paying for everything which also meant we made careful decisions on what we did and who we invited. In my mind, I have planned the most beautifully intimate, perfectly vintage modern party that NYC ever saw.

Post # 51
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I will have just turned 34 a week before my wedding. This is my first wedding. We are paying for it ourselves. It’s going to be a cute and quirky wedding with about 100-125 people. I just want October to get here! I can’t wait! I’m proud to be a part of the 30 somethings! Holla!

Post # 52
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I know that I am not the same person I was at 20.  At 20 I was a little immature, and not concerned about what things would cost.  I feel that I am better getting married at 30 because my Fiance and I are in charge of every aspect of our wedding.

Post # 53
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Ms. Snuggie:  

Great question. I think the difference is that since we are older (early 30s) our priorities are a little different, we chose to have a very simple, affordable, relaxed wedding under 10k. I was a lot more frivolous with money in my 20s and would have gone waaay overbudget on things. 

We are paying for the wedding ourselves.

 

Post # 54
Member
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

In my 20s I never even thought about marriage, so not sure what I would’ve planned.  This will be my first wedding/marriage and we have decided to do a lot of things ourselves in order to save money.  I’m going to be 32 when my wedding rolls around and my Fiance and I are paying for our wedding.  I think there is a big difference in spending/splurges with brides that have to pay for their own weddings.

Post # 55
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

I don’t know – in some ways, it’ll be even more of a party than when I was in my 20s. Now it’s about pure joy and if that means having a food fight or a water balloon fight, then so be it. 🙂

Much less about being gorgeous, because face it – my fat arms aren’t going back, but I will feel much more beautiful.

Much more of a celebration, much less of a ceremony.

 

Post # 56
Member
3087 posts
Sugar bee

I am 34 and he is 32.  It’s very different because I was married before in my 20s.  With my first, I wanted the princess feel, big billowy gown etc.  Now, it has to be intimate, no bridal party, no engagement party, and honestly, not interested in the hoopla and shenanigans.  The dress would be different – more elegant, classic and much less poofy! I am really excited about it this time around because I know who I am and what I want.  This is his first marriage so I definitely want him to have the wedding of his dreams and fortunately he also wants something intimate.  I am marrying this man because I am really seeing the man. I mean, he is truly The One.  Never felt that about my ex. When in my 20s, I married my ex’s potential.  How wrong was I! So now my perspective is just different and I think the wedding will reflect that. 

Who paid?  Well, we would have always been the one to pay although my mother bought my dress before. Hopefully, she would do the same this time but I am not expecting it. Hope you are reading this mom.:) To be honest, the honeymoon is what I am REALLY looking forward to since he and I are saving intimacy for when we get hitched (and yeah, it’s like, REALLY REALLY difficult).OMG.

Post # 57
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This is my second and I’m 32. My first was when I was 19 (yeah I know) and my mom planned everything. I still paid for it when I was 19, but she planned it. It was only 8 people and very small. I had no say for anything, i guess I was just younger and didn’t care. 

This time around, Fiance and I are paying and it will be nicer. I’m actually in the mix of things, with decisions, decorations, colors – Its all my decision.  I’m having a semi small 80 people and honeslty.  It’s nice to actually be INVOLVED.  I think age definitely is a factor for it.  

I’m more worried about “people having fun” and “how can i make my reception not boring” rather than the more party scene, night club, up all night thing. No offense to anyone who is doing that, it’s just that $$$ is a huge factor too and feeding 80 people is not cheap.

Post # 59
Member
649 posts
Busy bee

Both fiance and myself are in the 30’s and I think in the twos we might not have been so buget concious and thought more of flashiness and appearances. Not that it wont be beautiful now but we are also looking more at future investments house, kids etc

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