- 7 years ago
I am a single mother of a beautiful 8 year old girl. I am a single power mom! I work hard, make great money, live in a gorgeous home in a great area, and my girl always comes first. I do all of this single handedly and am very independent emotionally and financially. My daughter is extremely well rounded and adjusted. I am very proud of her! Now for the waiting game….I have been dating a man who is the absolute love of my life for about 14 months. Our relationship summary is below:
Months 1-2 fun dating, began calling one another bf/gf general courtship
Month 3: said I love you
Month 6: he met my daughter, said he wanted a fam with me one day
Month 8, 9: Marriage was initially brought up by HIM. He constantly told me I was the one, he loved me, wanted a life together and we would be engaged in EARLY 2011 and plan a late 2011 wedding. He also purchased a lot to build our dream home on for us.
Month 14: Here we are…we have had a few scuffles lately- partially bc I am insecure…I am putting all my eggs in this basket AND MY DAUGHTERS…it makes me nervous bc it is not just me! My daugher is involved…we don’t live together but he does come over every night…never sleeps over just hangs out, cooks for us, etc. We get alone time when she is with her dad.
I feel like we are playing house a bit minus the sleepovers and this is causing confusion for both my daugher and I. I have heard every excuse in the book when I approach the topic of marriage…here is a list of a few (I like lists!)
1. We aren’t perfect or in a peaceful enough place (we are but it is easy for him to say that bc I do bring up marriage from time to time and get hurt and cry when I don’t get feedback) we get along great 95% of the time! To me life is never perfect and we will never be 100%- I am a pain in the ass and so is he from time to time…2 alpha stubborn heads come together 🙂 Life will never be flawless like he expects!
2. He needs to save more and has looked at rings months ago but doesn’t have the money (mind you he has purchased 2 fishing boats and golfs every weekend and makes over 150k a year)
3. I need to JUST TRUST IN HIM AND BE PATIENT (this is the worst because I have been…we have been talking about it since Thanksgiving and NOTHING has happened. 5 months and counting since then…how much more patient can one get? I do trust him with all my heart.
I am scared bc he has dated women for 2 and 3 years at a time before me and never proposed…claiming he wasn’t ready. I am scared to death to fall victim to this too and fear my daugher will be so sad and confused as will I.
Please help! I know it has only been 14 months but again I am not the one who ever initiated this convo to begin with- he did! BTW- he is 36! I am 30 about to be 31! All of our friends are married and having babies. What is the hold up? We get along great!? I am not nagging and very independent…until lately and now I am just pissed. I find myself backing away and ready- VERY ready to walk due to the carrot being hung in front of my face…I can’t keep this up with my daughter. What to do!?????? Every chat we have on this is a dead end or one of the 3 above excuses. Should I walk?