(Closed) 30th Birthday Questions

posted 7 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If it were me the distance and cost would def not be an issue. It’s your 30th!

What I don’t get is if these are the people planning it then why did they pick an expensive place to go to?

I wouldn’t worry too much about it because you’re not planning it so it’s outside of your control.

Are you guys doing like a wine tasting tour? Those are usually like $30-$40 the ticket, not so bad.

In my husband’s family we have a tradition of going all out on the surprise 30th so I’m interested to see what they come up with for mine because I’m the last to turn 30. hehe

Post # 4
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If I were invited to this party, I would most likely go (because I can’t not show up to a good friend’s party), but I would probably also resent the high cost. I know this because I have been a guest at a lot of parties like this. It is common where I live for people to have a party at a fancy restaurant, and then all the guests divide up the check. It can end up being very expensive, often more than I can really afford.

I think a better way to throw a party, if possible, is to have a dinner at someone’s house/apartment. Everyone can bring a bottle of wine, and you can have your own wine tasting at a fraction of the cost. 

 

Post # 7
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ugh, I hate that birthday dinner awkwardness! I have to say that cost would be a factor for me, if I knew that the restaurant/bar was way out of my budget and we would be expected to pay for the birthday girl too, I might make up an excuse to not go (think Canlis or El Goucho).  I assume you’re going to Seattle for the night…?  Do you know where they want to go?  I think if they pick somewhere where you can get reasonable food and drinks it will be fine.  Maybe you should offer to pay for your dinner and drinks too, they may insist, which is fine, but the pretense is nice too.  

Post # 8
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@christalynn11:

To me that does not sound expensive especially for a birthday celebration. We are not wealthy by any stretch of the word. But $100 per couple on a night out is not that expensive in my book.

If the menu is available online they should know the average plate cost. And if they are worried they should order accordingly.

If you’re that worried maybe say something to your husband and see if he can steer it in a cheaper direction?

I’m so mad for you that your friends chose to come celebrate with you then complained to YOU about the prices! 🙁

Post # 11
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@christalynn11: Oh, fun!  You should definitely try to make it to the Pepper Bridge Woodinville tasting room.  DH proposed at the Walla Walla winery, so I’m biased, but their wines are sooo  yummy.  I think it sounds like a great birthday party, just make sure your friends know what the costs are.  Tasting fees are probably $5/person per winery, which is usually waved if you buy a bottle.  If they decide to go and still grumble about the cost, that’s just rude.  

Post # 13
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@christalynn11:

I totally understand. 🙂

But I also think that if these friends did not want to go celebrate with you on your 30th and/or can’t afford to they are under no obligation to go. So if they do go as adults they should realize it will cost them $$$. Therefore I agree with @RoundtreeBee: if they come and still complaine, that’s just rude!

Post # 14
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Unfortunately, you can’t stop people from bickering and you probably know the friends that are more prone to bickering about money.

I see you having a couple different options – limit the group (meaning, don’t invite those prone to having an issue with spending money) or just invite everyone and don’t worry about it if it comes up.

I do think the b’day scenario is a little different than drinks flowing at the bar.  Those bar tabs often run up VERY quick and people feel like they are paying WAY too much when the final tab is split up.  The b’day scenario is a lot more predicable.  

One of my really close friends gets really anxious about splitting the bill when it’s her b’day – so much so, it really kills the enjoyment of the night.  If it will cause too much anxiety for you – then maybe you need to rethink the dinner and just do a wine tasting day.  But, I honestly think it will be fine!

Post # 15
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

IMO, if I was this worried, I’d just do something low key where I knew everyone would feel comfortable and I could enjoy myself without worryin about my friends having fun. 

Post # 16
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

Personally, it would be a little expensive for me. I’m that friend that lives 40-min-an hour from everyone else, but I don’t mind the travel expense. But $100/couple on top of that is a little pricey for me. But we are on a really tight budget so I don’t know.

My friends planned a big party for my 25th. They surprised me at my favorite restaurant in the city and then we went to the bars. I had a TERRIBLE night. Some of the people that came to dinner didn’t order anything because they said it was too expensive…so they sat at dinner and watched everyone eat. I felt terrible. I wanted to have a good time for the friends that planned it, but felt bad for the other friends that came out. Ugh.

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